Between the Limits of Jurisprudence and the Ranks of Righteousness

A virtuous brother continues to ask: "I have two parents whom I support, and two of my brothers who live with them and earn an income from their work, but they do not contribute sufficiently to my parents' expenses. As you know, I am married and also support my own family. So, is it permissible for me to reduce what I give to my parents as a way to pressure my brothers to contribute to their expenses?" I told the brother that I avoid answering jurisprudential questions because I am not qualified to do so, and I referred him to published fatwas on the subject.

A few days later, he sent me an audio message in which he said: "You know, Doctor? After I asked you, I went to visit my mother, and I was feeling upset with my brothers for their negligence toward our parents and leaving the greatest burden on me. But as soon as I saw my mother, my chest expanded, and the distress I felt disappeared.

Then I spoke to one of my brothers about the matter but not the other, because I know he might get angry, and our mother would hear things she wouldn’t like from him.

So I decided not to reduce the expenses but to keep them as they were. And glory be to Allah! The next day, I went to work, and unexpectedly, my employer said to me: "I would like to increase your salary. May Allah expand for you and bless you."!! And it wasn’t even the time for salary increases!

I marveled at this sustenance that Allah brought to me from where I had not expected. I melted with shame at Allah’s generosity toward me... The increase mattered less to me than Allah’s kindness, mercy, and generosity, and the feeling of His closeness. I seek refuge in Allah from asking again about reducing expenses for my parents.

The point to consider: There may be a jurisprudential ruling or leniency in such a case, but there is a higher rank: to ensure that your relationship with your parents is not limited to what is permitted or forbidden. Instead, consider their dignity, their feelings, and ensure that neither feels like a burden on their child, seeking reward for preserving all of that.

Continue to be righteous to them, not because others have fulfilled their duty, but because you want to fulfill yours.

May Allah bless our brother and everyone who is righteous to their parents, whether alive or deceased. --------------