Forty years of my life have passed...

Forty years of my life have passed... During which I have experienced the blessings of Allah, the Almighty...in His dream and generosity, His cover and mercy...what makes the tongue stumble I have not suffered any affliction except that the Merciful deals with me gently in it, nor does He burden me with what I cannot bear, but He makes me feel His closeness and companionship and makes for me in the folds of affliction a great good, in my religion and the comfort of my heart and my world... My eyes would sometimes water, and I would say within my affliction: (What have I done to deserve this?!), (Why me, O Lord?!), (By Allah, O Lord, I do not deserve it)... I mean: What have I done to deserve these graces from the mercy of my Lord?! Why am I blessed by my Lord in this manner?! I do not deserve this favor, by Allah I do not deserve it. And the thoughts would occur to me that this favor might be a temptation, and that one day I would be "punished" for the accumulation of my shortcomings and stripped of these blessings to return to my true size as a human who does not deserve the generosity of his Lord, and lose the feeling of favor with Him, may He be glorified. But the day of the crushing punishment did not come, rather the kindness renews and the generosity overwhelms and the favor increases! Rather, I realized that my exaggerated fear that the favor might be a temptation was bad manners towards my Lord, may He be glorified, for dealing with His gifts as if they were "poison" spoils the position of gratitude... So I praise Him, may He be glorified, for not dealing with me with this bad assumption. Often I would wonder: (I do not deserve all this generosity from Allah!!) As if I hear the answer: (True, you do not deserve it...but He is more generous than to limit His generosity to you) - (My deeds are few and do not match the blessing of Allah upon me!) - (True, but you deal with the Merciful, the Grateful, may He be glorified). - (But there are those I consider better than me, so why me?) - (It is not your concern-"not your business", that is the favor of Allah which He gives to whom He wills. He gives to them and to you from His bounty and does not wrong anyone) - ("Not my business", fine...but what is my business then? How do I express my gratitude to my Lord and sustain His blessings?) - (Pour upon people the meanings of love and good opinion of Allah that you live (and do good as Allah has done good to you), and tell them about a Lord who is kind, forbearing, generous (and narrate the favor of your Lord), and be among the grateful). O beloved, I return to you after a long absence of about a year, and I apologize for the delay in responding to your kind greetings. And I say to you: May Allah reward you for your support and brotherhood in faith and your prayers for your brother, the effects of which I have felt in my experience by the grace of Allah, the Almighty. I love you in Allah, and I ask Allah to gather us in this world in His obedience and in the Hereafter in His Paradise. And that our joy may be complete with the liberation of all Muslims from their afflictions and the return of their dignity and the glory of their religion. Your brother who is honored by you: Iyad Qanaybi.