Episode 41 - For those who are blessed with a child with special needs

My sister was blessed with a child with Down syndrome, and she and her family dealt with him in a way full of lessons and morals. Then, God willed that the child passed away at the age of three years and three months. I was far from them, restricted in freedom. I wrote the following message to my sister and her family, which I ask Allah to benefit from it everyone who is blessed with a child with special needs, and indeed every afflicted person: My beloved sister Nadiya, my beloved brother Iyad, Fadi, Yazid, Baraa, Umar..

Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings, And may Allah increase your reward in our beloved Hamoud. I learned of the news yesterday, and many feelings surged in my heart that I wanted to share with you, and at the end of it, I will give you good news regarding Hamoud.

Iyad and Nadiya, you have taught me a profound lesson that I could never learn from books: a lesson in contentment and love for the decree of Allah the Almighty.

I still remember, O Nadiya, that moment three years and three months ago when I visited you in the hospital to inform you gradually that your new baby was born with Down syndrome. I still remember your composure and calmness as you were tired from the effects of the operation when you understood the matter and said, "Goodness, if Allah wills," then you changed the subject, and your inner voice after that said, "O Lord, if You have accepted it for me, then I have accepted it with him."

I still remember Iyad when he asked me, "Is this considered a trial, and do we have a reward for it if we are patient?" As if you meant that your child is a blessing, even if it is an imperfect blessing, and you cannot deal with the matter in any other way. I answered you: Yes, his illness is a trial, and you have a reward for being patient with him, by the permission of Allah. You nodded silently and you also decided to be patient.

But what appeared from you both after that, my beloved brother and sister, was not ordinary patience, but it was more complete and higher. It was contentment and beautiful patience, beautiful in the true sense of the word.

It was possible for you to endure reluctantly and provide Hamoud with the minimum necessary care and wish in your hearts that "the suffering ends" with his death. And if this had been your condition, you would not have sinned, as long as there was no distress, no objection, and no neglect in the basic care. But you both loved your new child with genuine love. When Allah saw from you - as I suppose - contentment with His decree, He placed in your hearts affection and special mercy for this child, as a testimony to His saying: {No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah. And whoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things 11} [At-Taghabun: 11], and the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him): (And whoever is patient, Allah will make him patient) You loved Hamoud and wished that he would live.

Nadiya, I still remember the scene when you would cheer for Hamoud's movements as if I could hear your voice laughing at him from the depths of your heart and saying: (Hamoud.. my life!)

I bought him the most beautiful clothes, made sure he was (the most distinctive one) on every holiday, I never saw him over the three years except the cleanest and the best-smelling of all children of his generation, you posted his pictures proudly on Facebook, you designed the most beautiful video for him. All this while you were actually confined with Hamoud, and you could not go out of the house for visits, lessons, and trips to take care of Hamoud and breathe. And many days you would hesitate between doctors and hospitals, and you would follow speech therapy and movement improvement sessions for Hamoud.

Hamoud became your life, and you sought Allah's help to make it a beautiful life. Iyad, you did not cheer much for the movements of children at this age, but you celebrated Hamoud more than others. You spent on him generously without hesitation: the heart operation, then the battery operation, then the treatment and rehabilitation expenses. All this with a good heart.

And in all of this, you both wanted Hamoud to live, to grow up, to be as close as possible to a normal human being, and to remain among us.

In the calculations of the materialists, "a lot" of time, money, and effort was wasted on Hamoud. But in the calculations of the believers, time, money, and emotion are among the blessings of Allah, and Hamoud is a trust that Allah has entrusted to you, so you have devoted Allah's blessing to taking care of Allah's trust with you, so for everything you have given, there is a reward by the permission of Allah.

Your children succeeded with you when they dealt with Hamoud with warmth and care, especially Baraa, the close friend of the people's beloved.

When you loved Hamoud sincerely, we all loved him sincerely. When you looked at him as an important human being, we all looked at him that way. Then when you grieved his loss, we all grieved.

Because we learned from you a practical lesson that you were a role model for all of us. The lesson is much greater than dealing well with children with special needs. It is a lesson in turning painful decrees into an appearance of contentment and submission and a field of good deeds, and it is a lesson that every afflicted person needs. Hamoud has departed, but his lesson will remain.

Hamoud's condolences could have been lukewarm, and you might have been seen as relieved that your suffering with Hamoud had ended, but that was not the case.

How proud I was of you, Nadiya, when Murad told me that you cried heavily at Hamoud's death, and yet you had no words except (Praise be to Allah, praise be to Allah) with which you are patient.

I was proud of you both, Iyad and Nadiya, when I learned from my mother that Hamoud's condolences lasted for days, more than what is customary for any child, and that his condolences were witnessed by many people.

It was as if you both opened a school for people through condolences, where they learn practically about contentment, respect for humanity, and appreciation for the blessing of Allah the Almighty.

I am sad for Hamoud, and I miss him "the people's beloved," but I am happy for you both very much, and I want you to be happy because you, as I suppose and Allah will hold you accountable, have succeeded in Hamoud's test. So I hope that while the doctor was writing Hamoud's death certificate, the angels were recording your success, indeed your excellence, in Hamoud's test paper, then this paper was folded and ascended to Allah the Almighty with Hamoud's soul. And this paper will be published for you on the Day of Judgment. I ask Allah to whiten your faces with it and to weigh your scales. So thank Allah greatly for enabling you in this experience and ask Him to accept it from you.

Dear Iyad and Nadiya, finally, to you the good news:

We hope that you will meet Hamoud in Paradise by the permission of Allah the Almighty, for he is a human soul, and souls live on the Day of Judgment and remain immortal, and he is one of the children of Muslims. Therefore, yes, we hope that you will meet him in Paradise by the permission of Allah. But he will not be afflicted with Down syndrome there, but he will be complete and beautiful with the beauty of your contentment with the decree of Allah when He blessed you with him. Therefore, strive for righteousness and the pleasure of Allah the Almighty so that He may join you with him by His mercy.

Finally: Hamoud.. he departed from this world before he learned to speak, but his inner voice says:

(Daddy and Mommy, I came into your lives for a mission: To extract from you the worship of contentment and to draw with you a story of beautiful patience. And I want to tell you: you have succeeded in the test. Therefore, my mission has ended, and I will depart now. But we will meet, by the permission of Allah, in Paradise. Your lover: Hamoud).

Iyad and Nadiya, I am proud of you, and I love you in Allah for this great lesson that I am ashamed of myself before it, and I ask Allah the Almighty to gather us and our loved ones in Paradise with the beloved of all, Hamoud.

Your lover: Iyad