It happens in some families that one of its members is afflicted with illness or family problems for example...so the r…
It happens in some families that one of its members is afflicted with illness or family problems for example...so the rest of the family members carry his burden..and try to help him..then they reach a certain point and can't get him out of his problem..so he doesn't recover from his illness nor is his situation with his spouse rectified.
What's very harmful here is psychological attachment, where all or some of them make their happiness and stability hostage to freeing this afflicted person from his problem. And sees that returning to living life normally is "betrayal" of the afflicted person or "lack of loyalty." So he sees that embittered living is "a right of kinship," and balance is disrupted and this is reflected on his practice of his roles whether as spouse, father, or brother. For he sees these other relationships as acceptable to fall short in as long as the afflicted person's problem hasn't been solved. Which leads to tension and shaken family stability, so the one problem transforms into several problems, and everyone becomes afflicted with the original afflicted person!
Here the principle of "psychological distance" must be applied, so you don't make your stability and happiness hostage to the affliction's departure from your relative. Extreme attachment means everyone falls if one falls, and this doesn't benefit the afflicted person, but pulls others with him! Your psychological "burnout" doesn't benefit the afflicted person nor light his path, but breaks the support he was strengthening his back with. Beware of thinking that embittering your life and troubling your soul is proof of your loyalty and among the afflicted person's rights over you!
Take means to their utmost, and help your relative with what you can, then after that if he doesn't escape his affliction, know that there must be losses in this life, and you must coexist with the new situation.
Don't compare your brother's/father's/son's afflicted situation with the ideal image you draw in your mind for him: "I want him to be healthy as he was"..."I can't bear to see him in this state"..Comparison with what Allah hasn't decreed is tiresome without benefit!
Return to your social roles and perform what's on you toward your wife/parents/children...and before all that toward your Lord, the Mighty and Majestic, then yourself..
And all this doesn't mean forgetting the afflicted person or disappointing him, rather: Give each right-holder his right...
Finally: This is all for the loyal and connected families, otherwise we know there are those who need to be reminded of the exact opposite: to care for their afflicted relative and offer what help they can.
We were placed in this world only for the test, and your good dealing with others' afflictions is part of your success in this test.