In the early days of my youth, there was a fear of Allah in my heart and love for Him. But the fear often dominated...a…

In the early days of my youth, there was a fear of Allah in my heart and love for Him. But the fear often dominated...and I was plagued by a feeling of hypocrisy and fear of falling into trials...So my Lord, may He be glorified, subjected me to trials, and each time He would comfort me, surround me with His mercies, and burden me with trials only to the extent I could bear, no more. When my back was broken, He would prepare me for a greater test, and place within the depths of these trials openings, gifts, and glad tidings. Then He would make people see from me what is praiseworthy and conceal my weaknesses...

The long-awaited moment I feared never came...the moment when Allah would abandon me due to my sins and slips...Instead, days passed, and from my Lord, I received nothing but increased favors, concealment, kindness, and mercy. I realized that He is kinder, more merciful, more gentle, and more patient than I had imagined...until I loved Him for these great attributes, and the love for Him balanced the fear of Him, may He be glorified...

You see a child thrown by his father into fears...he stands him on his feet to learn to walk after crawling...throws him into water to learn to swim...and each time, he picks him up when he stumbles and extends a helping hand to him...so the child loves his father who frightens him to teach him, strengthen his resolve, and elevate him in ranks. He walks with a face mixed with fear and a smile of joy, and in his chest, a heart that beats with love for his nurturing teacher father.

And to Allah belongs the highest example.

A lesson I would not have learned, and a love I would not have absorbed, had it not been for trials...By Allah, I do not love that I be healed without attaining these gifts...

O people, love your Lord and trust in His mercy, wisdom, and nurturing for you...

O Lord, all praise is Yours, filling my innermost being and my entire being, filling the heavens and the earth, and filling whatever else You will after.