In the early days of my youth, there was a fear of Allah in my heart and love for Him. But the aspect of fear was domin…

In the early days of my youth, there was a fear of Allah in my heart and love for Him. But the aspect of fear was dominant... and I was plagued by a feeling of falsity and fear of falling into trials... So my Lord, may He be glorified, subjected me to trials, and each time He was with me, He would be patient with me, surround me with His mercies, burden me with trials only as much as I could bear, and if my back was straightened, He would qualify me for a greater test. He would place within the depths of hardships relief, gifts, and glad tidings, then He would make apparent from me what is praised and conceal my weaknesses...

The anticipated moment I feared never came... the moment of Allah abandoning me for my sins and slips and flaws... Rather, the days passed, and from my Lord I received nothing but more blessings, concealment, kindness, and mercy... And I knew that He is kinder, more merciful, gentler, and more forbearing than I had imagined... Until I loved Him for these great attributes, and the love for Him balanced the fear of Him, may He be glorified...

You see a child whom his father throws into fears... He sets him on his feet to learn to walk after crawling... He throws him into the water to learn to swim... And each time, he helps him up and extends a hand of aid... So the child loves the father who frightens him to teach him, strengthen his back, and elevate him in ranks... He walks with a fear mixed with a smile and joy, and in his heart a heart that beats with love for the father who is the educator and teacher.

And to Allah belongs the most perfect example.

A lesson I would not have learned, and a love I would not have absorbed had it not been for hardships... By Allah, I do not love that I was healed and did not receive these gifts...

O people, love your Lord and trust in His mercy, wisdom, and upbringing of you...

And O Lord, to You belongs all praise, filling my depths and my being, filling the heavens and the earth, and filling whatever else You will after that.