One of the effects of sincere guidance is that your heart softens, not that it becomes harsher. There may have been shortcomings and mistakes in your parents' upbringing, but do not let your repentance be a door to constant accusation and blame. This clip is part of a full story we advise you to follow. Its link is in the pinned comment.
Some young people, when they attain steadfastness, begin to look at their parents with a critical eye, saying: "You fell short. You are the reason for my downfall. I suffered because of your shortcomings in raising me." This is an incorrect approach to understanding steadfastness and piety.
Our companion shared the story of a repentant brother who had been involved in pornography. He mentioned that his father loved religion but did not always practice what he taught his children. He recalled that his father was sometimes harsh with them, even striking them without cause, and attended mixed gatherings. Despite this, he would tell them: "Pray and go to Quran centers."
Yet, observe the etiquette of our companion when he spoke of his father. He did not say: "My father destroyed me. My father is the reason for my deviation and corruption." Instead, he said: "My father—may God forgive him and reward him well on my behalf—instilled honesty in us."
Look at this etiquette! He supplicates for his father, gives him his due, and focuses on the good aspects of his upbringing, despite the mistakes and some harshness.
The lesson here, my brothers, is that steadfastness is not merely about growing a beard, praying in the mosque, and avoiding sin. Rather, one of the greatest fruits of steadfastness is that your heart becomes gentle, your character improves, and your parents see your piety as a source of mercy and kindness—not harshness or vengeance.
You must look upon those around you with a merciful gaze. Remember the words of God the Exalted:
"Thus were you before, until God favored you." (Quran 4:94)
You were once in error, and God saved you. So, maintain mercy for those who have not attained the guidance you have received. And none are more deserving of this mercy than your parents.