Condolence Food - A Warning About Dangerous Practices

Peace be upon you, esteemed guests, and may Allah's mercy and blessings be upon you. May Allah bless your morning with goodness.

Introduction to the Phenomenon of "Menasaf" in Condolences

Glory be to Allah, today one of the brothers stopped me and said: I ask you by Allah to speak about the phenomenon of "Menasaf." I said to him: What is the phenomenon of "Menasaf"? "Menasaf" is a type of food we have here in Jordan. He said: It is a critical issue, where "Menasaf" is prepared by the family of the deceased, and sometimes not out of boasting but rather to avoid shame, as they have prepared food for those attending the condolence gathering. It has become a custom here that it is obligatory for every family of the deceased to prepare food for those who attend the condolence gathering.

He said: Sometimes this talk is very exhausting. He told me about a person he knows whose father died two weeks ago, and he spent thousands of dinars preparing food for those attending the condolence gathering. Then his sister died after that, and he also spent thousands of dinars within two weeks. He said: His financial situation is difficult. He said: And I know that some people take out interest-based loans, mortgage their property, and take out interest-based loans just to prepare this condolence food.

Look, brothers, I titled this live broadcast "Dangerous Practices" because I will talk about something dangerous, not just about a disliked innovation. No, I will talk about something dangerous that sometimes happens. The deceased does not need a person who commits sins and takes interest-based loans, nor a person who boasts because of outdated customs and false boasts. What the deceased needs is a righteous child who prays for him, or a righteous child who prays for him. What the relatives of the deceased need is help for them, not adding to their burdens because of falsehood or even to avoid shame.

Ruling on Preparing Food for Mourners

Now, my brothers, I will postpone the point where there is a great sin, but first, what is the ruling on preparing food for those attending the condolence gathering? The Prophet, peace be upon him, in the good hadith that Imam Tirmidhi and others graded as good, he, peace be upon him, said: "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far, for they have been occupied with what has befallen them" when Ja'far died. The Prophet said: "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far, for they have been occupied with what has befallen them."

Therefore, the Sunnah is that when the deceased dies, the friends of the deceased, the friends of the family, their relatives, and their neighbors are the ones who prepare food for the family of the deceased, not the opposite. We say before I talk about dislike or prohibition, the principle is to adhere to the command of your Prophet, peace be upon him, and not to say by Allah if it is not forbidden even if it is disliked. No, the principle is to adhere.

But let us clarify a little about the ruling of this matter, when it becomes forbidden and severely forbidden, and when it is disliked. The four imams, esteemed guests, dislike that the family of the deceased prepares food for the people who attend the condolence gathering. And I will bring you here some statements, I will read you statements from some scholars with the emphasis that the madhhab of the four imams is on dislike.

An-Nawawi in "Rawdat al-Talibin" said: "As for providing food for the family of the deceased and gathering people for it, nothing has been narrated about it" meaning there is no established Sunnah nor any established action from the Companions, "and it is an innovation that is not commendable."

Ibn Qudamah in "Al-Mughni" said: "As for the family of the deceased preparing food for the people, it is disliked; because it adds to their calamity and resembles the practice of the people of Jahiliyyah." Imagine resembling the practice of the people of Jahiliyyah!

Sheikh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said in "Majmu' al-Fatawa": "Food that people are invited to, this is not permissible, rather it is an innovation." Indeed, Jarir bin Abdullah, meaning al-Bajali, said: "We used to consider gathering at the house of the deceased and preparing food for the people as the forbidden mourning." Meaning, what is commendable is that when the deceased dies, food is prepared for his family.

And of course, in the speech of scholars like Wali bin Hatab al-Maliki and Ibn Hammam al-Hanfi, this is the madhhab of the four imams.

When is Preparing Food Forbidden?

Now, esteemed guests, here we are talking about dislike, when does the matter become forbidden? The matter becomes forbidden when it is the money of the heirs, this money is from the inheritance, and there is a shortage among the heirs and people who do not agree to prepare food from their money.

Imagine a father left behind a thousand dinars, okay, these dinars will be distributed to whom? To the mother, the two sisters, the small brother who is ten years old, the big brother who is thirty years old, and so on. One of the sisters said: By Allah, my brother, you know my situation and therefore I do not feel comfortable that food is prepared even if it is for the condolence of my father, may Allah have mercy on him. He said: My sister, it is not right, what will people say about us? What will people say about us? This is her money, this is her right, you do not have the right to dispose of it. This boy is ten years old, a man who does not want, you do not have the right to take from his right, you do not have the right to take from his money.

Originally, if you want to prepare food and enter into generosity, prepare it from your own money. There may come to you a share in the inheritance, for example, you get a hundred dinars in the inheritance, ah from my money like this. But you do not have the right to take from the money of those who do not feel comfortable with paying from their money, nor do you have the right to take with coercion under pressure and embarrassment that people will say about us, nor do you have the right to take from the money of these children who are orphans. Remember here the severe warning: "Indeed, those who devour the property of orphans unjustly are only causing their bellies to eat fire, and they will [enter] a blazing Fire" [An-Nisa: 10]. The matter is very, very serious, so we never underestimate it, people.

Therefore, it is forbidden for you to put the money of the minors and children into this food. The Islam Question and Answer website, a great website, said: "Just as it is disliked for the family of the deceased to prepare food for those who come to offer their condolences, it is also disliked to eat from the food that they prepare for this reason, and if the food is from the money of the minor heirs, then eating from it is forbidden."

Al-Bahuti in "Kashaf al-Qina'" said: "And it is disliked to eat from their food" meaning the food that the family of the deceased prepares "and if it is from the inheritance and there are minors among the heirs" meaning minors "or from those who did not give permission" of course, it is given with a good heart without embarrassment "it is forbidden to do so and it is forbidden to eat from it; because it is a disposal of the money of the minors or the money of others without their permission."

What about now, people, when the family of the deceased takes out loans and is affected by this loan negatively, and the minors and women are affected by it? For example, there are sisters or daughters of the deceased and children, the older brother takes out a loan and this puts the entire family in a state of embarrassment and severe financial difficulty, which is more forbidden. What about when it is an interest-based loan? Allah is great, people, Allah is great, people! Taking out an interest-based loan to prepare "Menasaf" for the deceased to feed those who attend the condolence gathering! By Allah, people, this is a forbidden crime, forbidden, do not deceive people at the expense of the religion of Allah the Almighty.

Exceptions and a Call for Change

Now, note: Exceptions to the disliked nature of this practice, as mentioned on the Islam Question and Answer website, are in line with the Sharia evidence. We did not prepare food for them, but my sister's husband, may Allah reward him, and two of my friends, may Allah reward them, prepared food for those who attended, meaning for those who came from the West Bank as guests staying with us, because they must eat in the end.

So, I am not telling you, my brothers, to do this. By the grace of Allah the Almighty, when my daughter passed away, we did not prepare food for the condolence meal that they talk about, not out of stinginess, by the grace of Allah, but to combat this false habit. Therefore, I ask you, may Allah honor you, to change and adhere to the command of Allah the Almighty. Let us change this false habit, combat it, and fight it. And let us tell the family of the deceased from today onwards, if they invite us: if this money, we ask them about the money that you invite us to, the money that you prepared for the condolence meal, did you ask the children for permission? Did you ask the women for permission? Were the women willing? Were your brothers willing? Is this money made from the children's money? Let us scrutinize and investigate. And it is better in this case if they say to you: "By Allah, we asked everyone for permission and it is not from the children's money," it is better not to attend. It is better.

But if this money or this food is made from money of someone who was not willing or from the children's money, it is forbidden for you to attend. Do not attend and explain the reason, people, explain the reason so that this concept spreads among people. And let us remember, and I am speaking about myself, when I die and after me, do not prepare food. If any of my friends, relatives, or neighbors want to prepare food for the attendees or guests, may Allah reward them with good, but to combat this habit, do not, my dear relatives and brothers, prepare food for those who attend.

And I say this, people, and in Muslim countries like northern Syria and Idlib, many Muslims are being killed now, and no one prepares food for them, neither neighbors nor friends; because the condolence procession or funeral procession for one person who is bombed turns into forty or fifty funerals, and Allah is our supporter. Let us think about the nation and not waste our time, effort, and money on false boasts and outdated customs. Let us focus on the glory of the nation, the elevation of the nation, and the support of the oppressed Muslims by reforming our reality and ourselves. May Allah alleviate the distress of Muslims everywhere, and may Allah bless you. Peace be upon you.