Lessons and Experiences in Raising Children

Peace be upon you, dear brothers and sisters. Last Saturday or the night of Friday to Saturday, meaning it has been a week, I posted several articles and videos related to this topic. However, I feel that there is still much I would like to share with you. "None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself," and I, with Allah's will, love to convey these experiences to you as much as possible. I will structure the lessons and experiences around several main points, as you will notice, summarizing this experience we have gone through and extracting its benefits, with Allah's will.

Introduction and the Importance of the Topic

Brothers and sisters, why is it important for us to discuss this topic? It is about extracting lessons and experiences from dealing with trials, especially trials that affect your sons or daughters. As you know, the topic of upbringing in general is of utmost importance because your sons and daughters are either your gateway to Paradise or, Allah forbid, a source of grief in this world and the Hereafter.

Allah the Almighty said: "O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them." How can they be enemies to you? You neglect their upbringing, and they commit evil deeds, becoming a burden to you, or they grow up to be a burden, a man or a woman who becomes a torment. "Allah only wants to remove impurity from you, O people of the Household, and to purify you thoroughly." And Allah forbid, then on the Day of Judgment, as you also know, they will be part of our evil deeds. Therefore, the topic is of utmost importance.

Now, a very important point, brothers and sisters, is that many of us, if asked: Why did you get married? Why did you have children? It is as if he is having children as part of his personal manhood, as if he is having children in this concept. Having children in this time is extremely dangerous because, as you know, we are in a very difficult time. Therefore, you might be having children who are like pieces of flesh for the Fire, Allah forbid.

And Allah the Almighty said: "O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones." And the Prophet, peace be upon him, said in a hadith that should be spread, learned, and taught, narrated by Bukhari: "No servant whom Allah has entrusted with a responsibility and has not fulfilled it with his advice, except that Allah will prevent him from the fragrance of Paradise" or "except that he will not smell the fragrance of Paradise."

Look at the prophetic expression: "No servant whom Allah has entrusted with a responsibility." The Prophet did not say to you: "And he did not advise them," no, "And he did not fulfill it with his advice." Imagine that you and your son are walking on a dangerous path, bullets come to him, stones come to him, and you are working for him like a bodyguard, you are cautious and push away all these dangers from him. "And he did not fulfill it with his advice." What is the reward, O Messenger of Allah? "Except that he will not smell the fragrance of Paradise." A very serious threat.

The matter is not neutral in having children, they are neither for you nor against you. Either they are for you and will be part of your good deeds, or a righteous child who prays for you, or Allah forbid, you send them to the Fire and then you will not smell the fragrance of Paradise after them.

Attachment to Children and Balanced Upbringing

Alright, when we talk about upbringing and dealing with children, one of the most important forms of success in dealing with children is success in the stations of their trials. These stations can be lowering or raising. Some people, through these stations, rise up along with their children. May Allah elevate them and raise their ranks with Allah in Paradise. And there are people, unfortunately, who cause themselves to fall, doubt, and even disbelief for themselves and perhaps for their children as well.

One of the brothers contacted me a few days ago, consoling me, saying: "May Allah magnify your reward, may Allah make your consolation good. Honestly, my sheikh, I had a son who came to me after waiting. I won't say he is the apple of my eye, but he is my soul walking on the earth. He was afflicted with a disease and died, and from that day on, my life was shattered, and I advise the brothers not to have children and not to get married."

Here, our brothers have entered into questioning the wisdom of Allah the Almighty regarding the matter of marriage and childbearing. Here, we have moved to an unhealthy attachment to children. Dr. Abdul Rahman Dhakir, who is interested in mental health issues, expresses this by saying that these people have a lack of comfort with Allah and a lack of comfort with themselves. They have an internal heart desertification, and consequently, they become attached to something external. This is a problem; this has become a phenomenon of pathological attachment.

At the same time, some people have imaginary, idealistic views that are not from the Sunnah at all. You might find in the cars of some preachers that Allah tested Ibrahim with the sacrifice of Ismail, peace be upon him, or with his command to sacrifice Ismail, because he was jealous of Ibrahim's heart and wanted to sacrifice his love for Ismail. No, that's not correct. It is not required of you that your emotions towards your children be indifferent, nor is it required of you that you do not enjoy their movements and laughter and be pleased with them with any pleasure. On the contrary, you thereby reach the level of gratitude when you see your children with their beautiful movements and thank Allah for them.

Your son or daughter asks you for something, you listen and obey, and if it is in disobedience to Allah, then there is a problem. The dividing line is taught to us by the Prophet, peace be upon him and his family and companions: "Indeed, you have in the Messenger of Allah a good example." That is, there was never anyone whose feelings were more intense, whose emotions were more intense than the Prophet, peace be upon him, and there are many hadiths on this.

He, peace be upon him, was delivering a sermon, as in the authentic hadith, when his grandsons Al-Hasan and Al-Hussein came to him wearing red dashdashas, the shirt in the old terminology is like the dashdasha now, wearing red dashdashas, their appearance was sweet and handsome, two small children walking and stumbling, still in the beginning of their walking, walking and stumbling, walking and falling to the ground. The Prophet, peace be upon him, cut off the sermon, went down, carried them, ascended the pulpit again and said: "Allah has spoken the truth, indeed your wealth and your children are a trial. When I saw these two boys walking and stumbling, I could not bear it until I came down and carried them." Intense emotions.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, in the authentic hadith also took the hand of Abu Huraira and went to the mosque and sat in the mosque and said: "Where is Lukay? Call Lukay for me." Lukay means a young boy, a child of little understanding, like how we call our children. So Al-Hasan came running, meaning he ran and ran until he jumped into the lap of the Prophet. The Prophet, peace be upon him, was sitting, his legs crossed, so Al-Hasan jumped into his lap, and the Prophet kissed him and embraced him and said: "O Allah, I love him, so love him, and love those who love him." He said it three times: "O Allah, I love him, so love him, and love those who love him. O Allah, I love him, so love him, and love those who love him."

Peace be upon him, he would carry his grandsons on his shoulders and say the same words: "O Allah, I love them, so love them." Intense emotion. When he went to Ibrahim and was with his wet nurse, he would kiss him and smell him, meaning a great love. He went to him another time and found him offering himself in the final pull, so his eyes shed tears. So Abdur Rahman bin Auf said to him: "And you, O Messenger of Allah?" He said: "O son of Auf, it is mercy." Then he shed a second tear and said the well-known saying: "Indeed, the eye sheds tears and the heart grieves, but we only say what pleases our Lord, and we are indeed saddened by your separation, O Ibrahim."

Intense emotion, but did this lead the Prophet, peace be upon him, to despair, anger, spiritual emptiness, or desolation in his life when Allah wanted to take Ibrahim or Al-Qasim or Abdullah or Zainab or Umm Kulthum or Ruqayyah from him? No. There is spiritual abundance. Yes, he is pleased with them, loves them, loves their movements, finds comfort in them, but if Allah wills to take them from him, he submits and is pleased, peace be upon him.

This brother, and I hope he hears me, is in a mess on the mobile phones and cannot send now, but I hope, God willing, the words will reach him. This brother, I say to him: Beware of being an intruder with Allah. That is, if you, my brother who said this word: "My son was my soul walking on the earth, Allah took him, and my life was shattered." I want to ask you a question: If this son of yours was disabled, would you feel the same feeling? That is, a disabled person does not attach your heart to him. One time you say a disabled son attaches the heart to him.

The point is that it is not impossible that Allah may take something very precious from you. Be generous with it, be generous with it for the sake of Allah the Almighty, be generous with it for Allah. It is not required of you that you do not love your children, do not love them and let your emotions be intense like the Prophet, peace be upon him, be following his Sunnah. But what will make you patient in the trial? What will make you patient if you lose one of them? That you love Allah more than them, that you are generous with them for the sake of Allah the Almighty. They are not a loss, no, their proximity is a gift to Allah the Almighty.

Allah, people, remember that Allah the Almighty does not buy from our children. "Indeed, Allah has bought from the believers their lives and their wealth, for them is Paradise." Many of us say: "I wish the door was open, I wish I could sell myself and my wealth for the sake of Allah." Well, you and you in your place, Allah the Almighty took a few from you, took him for His sake, are you stingy with Allah? Are you stingy with Allah?

So the point of this speech is that you love your children, you are attached to them, there is no problem, but not an attachment that leads to setback, spiritual emptiness, and despair. And also, may you find yourself with them for the sake of Allah the Almighty.

Of course, regarding the matter of attachment, Sarah was my first daughter, and she was engaged when she was less than two years old. We were more likely to go to places, to shops, to visits, and get engaged. So I remember that I composed a poem for her, some of whose verses were, she is the most like my children in personality and mentality and temperament, truly the most like my children. So I composed in it verses from it: "For the daughter of my soul, I yearn for her and my heart is stirred by her memory She is from me as if my blood flows through the veins of the child Her laughter is etched in my mind, her eyes have captured my thoughts She is radiant, kind, and gentle, she distracts me from my worries when I see her O my sorrow at her distance, O forgetfulness for a moment when I part from her I may forget my name one day, but I can never forget her She is Sarah, she is the secret of my joy, she is the sweetest of our world O Lord, preserve her, bring us together, and make Your Paradise her abode"

See, brothers, there was an attachment, yes, and there is still an attachment, but glory be to Allah, the trial educates. Your Lord, the Almighty, educates. I cannot imagine in any day that I would stand frozen, patient, my affairs complete after losing my daughter. I remember that I was exposed to a great trial that I would be in this trial and nothing would be in the safety of a single finger of my daughters. No, by Allah, I would be in what I am in and nothing would be in the safety of a single finger of my daughters. The years passed and your Lord educates, and it became more than the safety of the finger, and praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. Our Lord sends tranquility.

Now, the next title, brothers, the conclusion of the title we mentioned: let us know that we are balanced. It is not required of you to be devoid of feelings, do not love your children and love them with intense emotion like the Prophet, peace be upon him, be following his Sunnah. But what makes you patient in the trial? What makes you patient if you lose one of them? That you love Allah more, that you are generous with them for the sake of Allah the Almighty. They are not a loss, no, their proximity is a gift to Allah the Almighty.

The Fundamental Values to Instill in Children

Now, the next topic: what values should I instill in my children? Today's lecture is not a general educational lecture. What values in general? What values should I instill in my children so that if they face hardship, they can be patient?

Glorifying Allah and Being Prepared for Sacrifice

I believe the most important value is glorifying Allah and thus being prepared to make sacrifices for the sake of Allah. Do the children, O Sarah, understand this speech? Yes, of course they understand this speech, thanks be to Allah. I tell my children the story of Bani Israel, I distance them from it and I increase it, and I mention them in it, the story of the one who asked his children to burn him. Do you know this story, madam? Yes, praise be to Allah that you know it. Unfortunately, this story is not widespread, even though it was narrated by Bukhari and others, it is a correct story. And I always emphasize it to my children so that I can focus on a piece of information for them: Look, my son, my daughter, leave this world by glorifying Allah, may Allah hope for good for you with Allah.

For those who do not know the story, the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "There was a man among those who were before you who never did any good." Imagine a man who lived sixty or seventy years, his conduct was stained with sin. Until death approached him, he gathered his children and said: "What kind of father was I to you? How was I with you, my children?" They said: "A good father." He might have been kind to his children, but not for the sake of Allah. With Allah, his conduct was completely bad. He said: "Look at the strange will: if I die, burn me, until the day of the wind comes, and may Allah punish me with a punishment that He does not punish anyone else in the world."

His children did it, they burned him, they waited for the day when the wind was coming and going, they ground a little here, a little there, a little there, so it was scattered on the tops of the mountains and in the valleys and in the rivers. May Allah control this speech, O Lord of the worlds. So Allah gathered him and presented him before Him and asked him, and Allah knows best and your Lord knows best: "O My servant, what made you do what you did?" Our Lord wants to hear it from him and teach it to us. He said: "O Lord, I feared You and feared my sins." He had something of glorification, did he not? And he had certainty that he was not a mocking, arrogant person with Allah, he was a bad person but he had something of glorification for the origin of glorification. "O Lord, I feared You and feared my sins." The Messenger of Allah said: "So Allah forgave him."

This hadith means it resides in those three words, it rings sweetly in my ears, and if we teach it to our children: See if you glorify Allah, may Allah hope for good for you with Allah. So glorifying Allah, if your son glorifies Allah, if your daughter glorifies Allah, he will be pleased to make sacrifices for the sake of Allah. See, people, sometimes the Ismāʿīlīs and the Bāṭinīyah, misguided sects, you find that it started with a few people, then it increased, and then they had a readiness to make sacrifices for the sake of false principles. If you teach your son to glorify Allah, the truth, may He be exalted, will He not fill his heart? No, Allah will fill his heart because it is a nature that will attract these meanings like magnets.

But beware, if you want your son to respect your glorification of Allah, you want him to respect your glorification of the truth to Allah, then do not glorify anyone but Allah, the messengers of Allah, the books of Allah, the law of Allah, and what derives from that and what is produced from that. If you glorify another value, other people outside this system, you will fall and your glorifications and your standards will fall from the eye of your child. This harms the glorification of your child for Allah. Is this concept clear? Should I repeat it? I did not repeat it? And I will repeat it again.

If you want your son to glorify Allah with true glorification, do not glorify anyone but Allah and what derives from the glorification of Allah. If you walk with some of the general waves, currents, and general concepts and glorify them other than that, if you go out of the system of glorifying Allah or what contradicts and opposes the system of glorifying Allah, know that this will harm your standards in the eye of your child and will negatively reflect on the glorification of your child for Allah. No, help your son to glorify Allah and what derives from that, and the utmost disdain and disregard for anything other than that, then Allah will be glorified with true glorification.

Love of Allah and Zeal for His Sanctities

Another value to instill in the heart of the child so that he can make sacrifices for the sake of Allah: love of Allah. I tell my children: "Come, my son, if they tell you at school that Allah will put you in the fire, they are wrong. Allah loves children, Allah does not put children in the fire, Allah is merciful to children." And thus he walks loving Allah. Glorification and love as well.

Zeal for the sanctities of Allah, denouncing evil, so that your son and daughter may live for a cause. Sarah, may Allah have mercy on her, had an example of denouncing evil a lot, she would come to me from school, even to the point of taking a shower, denouncing evil would shower me a lot. "Father, the school principal is drunk, father, the teacher is drunk, and the girls did not do wrong, and there is no need for this talk." "Come, help me." That is, she did not abandon her principle, no, "come, talk to the school so that they do not keep talking to me in this way." And I go to help her.

Teach your son to denounce evil so that he may live for the cause. What is the relationship of this to hardship? The boy and the girl who live for the sake of Allah, who live for a cause, if a personal misfortune befalls him, his personal misfortune will seem trivial to him. While if he is isolated from reality, isolated from life, living for himself, like many of our daughters these days, not her nails in her hairstyle and her new sandals. Any misfortune that touches her will of course shake her being because she has no interests other than this.

I remember that my children, Sarah and others, I would recite verses to them so that we may instill these meanings, the meanings of living for a cause: "Be a helper of Allah and denounce evil, And do not consider anyone but Him beneficial or harmful. And be with the truth that is pleasing to Him from you, And follow the path of the chosen one and continue upon it. Is not the first life sufficient for us? Is not the hereafter sufficient? Is not the first life sufficient for us? Is not the hereafter sufficient?"

The World is a Place of Trial, Not a Place of Reward

Alright, also among the most important meanings to instill in your son and daughter so that they do not falter when faced with trials is that the world is not a place of reward, but rather a place of trial. And this is very, very, very important. Look, people, among the worst mistakes we make educationally: "My son, pray so that Allah may bless you in your studies." "What do you think, give charity, give money to the poor so that Allah may increase your wealth, perhaps you will receive money from other sources." We are setting a worldly goal for the children, both worldly and hereafter, and consequently, if the child does good and then is afflicted, he will not understand what he has done.

No, we teach our children that you do good for the sake of Allah, so that Allah loves you, so that Allah is with you. How is Allah with you? "If good befalls you, He makes you one of the thankful, and if harm befalls you, He makes you one of the patient." Thus, Allah is with you, fills your heart with happiness and tranquility, and on the Day of Judgment, you will go to Paradise. We repeat the word Paradise, Paradise, we attach them to Paradise.

For example, I remember the stories I used to tell my children before bed, and this is one of the most important stations and educational means, bedtime stories. The story that Sarah told in her first and last episode, we recorded two episodes and published one. The story she told about Abu Ubadah, Abu Ubaydah. The story she told about Abu Ubaydah, it was wonderful, may Allah bless her, when I tell a story, she remembers it, and even if the school asks them to write a story, I go and narrate the story because I tell it over many nights.

So this story of Abu Ubaydah, I used to tell them about 12 stories. Now, in this story, I bring the story of this man who worked for 40 years in the Emirates, and indeed he did, and in the end, he did not live in the palace that he had worked and suffered his life for. Then I bring his son Ahmed, the middle one, who inherited from his father, the money that he inherited from his father, what did he do with it? He spent it on good causes, built housing for refugees, lived with the refugees, and became a father to the children. And then he was afflicted with cancer.

So I turned to my son, I said to him: "How, my father, did he do all the good and was afflicted with cancer?" Yes, he was afflicted with cancer, but he lived a good life and died happy and will enter Paradise, inshaAllah. The believer will be tested. His father, unfortunately, did not benefit from his wealth, but Ahmed benefited from his wealth. "My son, benefit from his wealth, and indeed Allah was with him, Allah filled his heart with tranquility and contentment and made the children of the Muslims happy and he died and the people at his funeral were not grieving and he was not grieving the Lord of the Worlds." What could be better than that? Therefore, people, we attach the hearts of the children to the Hereafter and remind them that the world is not a place of reward but a place of trial. And the bliss that you take in this world that is guaranteed one hundred percent is tranquility in the heart: "Those who said our Lord is Allah and then stood firm, the angels descend upon them, saying, 'Do not fear and do not grieve, and be glad with the Paradise that you were promised.'"

How to Instill These Values

Alright, how do I instill these values? We are talking about great values and huge meanings: glorifying Allah, loving Allah, attachment to the Hereafter, the world is not a place of reward. How do you instill them?

Practical Example

Of course, the first thing is the practical example. And may Allah forgive me, we all make mistakes, but we try and stumble and then we share and share these experiences so that, inshaAllah, we may benefit from each other, and peace be upon you. The practical example, meaning I was exposed to a certain circumstance and my daughter would come to me in this circumstance, see the good news contrary to expectations. I take advantage of certain visit opportunities in a quarter of an hour: "Sarah's verse, listen to such and such a surah, come I will tell you the public story." I make a short meeting program. So when the girl comes the first time, the second time, the third time, my father is afflicted in the way of Allah and she is happy and content and positive and teaches me, so she absorbs these meanings even if I say them with my tongue, she sees an example before her.

The Role of Storytelling

One of the best methods ever, my brothers, is the role of storytelling, storytelling, bedtime stories. And I highly recommend this to you. How do you craft a story? Of course, I have given my children around 12 or 13 stories, each usually being a series. The recurring question is, "Do you have any available?" Unfortunately, no. There are two written ones, and for years I have been planning to edit and publish them, inshallah we will. But I want to share with you the method of creating a story. How do you create a story for your child?

The best method I found in dealing with my children is to come up with a story that has a basis and add details from your own experiences that are interesting to children, which may not have an educational benefit but are enough to attract their attention. Then, ensure that the meanings you want are included in an indirect, subtle way. For example, the story of Abu Ubadah, which had about 12 episodes, was simply about me and some colleagues attending the condolence visit for the father of one of our colleagues. He built a villa in Irbid but never lived in it. Incidentally, one of our colleagues said, "My uncle's son, so and so, worked in the UAE for 40 years and was building a palace in the market's outskirts. The palace that people see now is just the outer wall of the fence, like the palace's stone itself, standing upright, which is what distinguishes it and is not horizontal." He said, "He was very extravagant in his spending." He said, "My father told him, 'It is haram on you, O Abu So and so, man, all this expenditure, brother, spend less, live in a palace like the world and people, but without this extravagance.'" He told me, "Abu Ahmad spent forty years in exile, I want to enjoy my money." Consequently, our friend complained of symptoms, went for a check-up, and they told him, "You have colon cancer." They operated on him, tried to treat him, it didn't work, and he went to America. "Return to your country." He went to bed that night and the next day to the cemetery.

These two sentences were told to me by Dr. Ahmad, our friend. I made them into twelve episodes. You add some of what you tell the children with your pen, the origin of the story is true, and some details are collected from real life, and that is actually the case. But I ensure that many details are included: how this man was unfortunate, worked hard, stayed up late, got sick for the sake of building this palace, which led to his neglect of his religious duties, ruined his family relationships, and led to his divorce from his wife. Of course, this information is not with me, but I tell them the origin of the story is true, and I have additions that give them exciting details: what the palace looked like, the names of the children, the shapes of the children, and so on. The details may not be beneficial, but at least they attract the children, and I include the meanings I want, especially not attaching to the world and its materialism and attaching the heart to the hereafter, especially this meaning.

For example, of course, when I give them these stories, it happens that when they read the Quran, we stop at a certain verse, and they say, "Dad, isn't this like what happened to So and so?" I do not quote the Quran so that there is no direct preaching, but when he reads the verse, he says, "Dad, isn't this verse talking about So and so?" For example, "So do not be impressed by their wealth or their children, but Allah wants to punish them with it in this worldly life." "Isn't this like what happened to So and so?" He begins to connect the Quran to real life.

Or for example, cartoon stories, I think many of you know Rimi and the old stories. Of course, it is sad, and sometimes its foundation is corrupt, for example, Sandybell and that girl without centering the meanings of freedom and independence for women in Western society, no. You either preach. So Rimi was the last scene where he meets his mother in a convent and his cross hangs on her chest. A touching scene, you want to cry with him. The essence of the story is the loss of his mother, the sea, and his confusion, etc., you correct it, add, and include some deep meanings and make it a series.

Of course, sometimes there are concepts that are very distorted in the minds of children, the concept of tolerance towards other religions, accepting other religions. Acceptance here means that you are right and we are right, we are all Abrahamic religions, I cannot err the relative truth. Such misleading statements also through a story you address. For example, also the story of people from Syria who were forced to migrate to Sweden, and how in Sweden one of the children or rather one of the wealthy non-Muslim atheists set his eyes on this child that he wants to adopt him because he does not have children. How his father suffered and was actually able to report him to the police and make a file of mistreatment of the child. A long story. Through this story, we bring that one of the Christians who was present there helped the Muslim father of the child, helped him to retrieve his son and was kind and compassionate to him. Consequently, how this Muslim insisted on repaying this Christian man by inviting him to Islam with insistence and perseverance. And at the end of the story: repay the favor to those who are good to you in the West, for example, you do not repay the favor by saying that you and we are right and the truth is relative and their virtues in their religion go to visit them in their churches, no, but you repay the favor by inviting him to the religion of Allah Almighty. Such deep and great concepts, there is no way to reach them like the story.

Also, for example, forms of the story by mentioning Sarah, may Allah have mercy on her, after a long, tiring, and exhausting treatment journey from chemotherapy, then a major surgery, then chemotherapy, then natural treatment, and a long suffering. In the last chemotherapy session after the surgery, we discover that the cancer has spread to her lungs. Okay, so what is required? We need to start another chemotherapy with a very low chance of success. It reached the point where, "It's over, you have some points in your lungs, and we will start a new chemotherapy." Of course, she was expecting that the chemotherapy was over, "My opinion is that my hair has grown back, and my life has returned, and I will run again as I used to, and the girls used to envy me that you are the fastest, Sarah." The girl was happy. No, because she reaches that it has spread to the lungs and a new chemotherapy.

I remember that day, praise be to Allah, I repeated and confirmed to my daughter that she never panicked, never complained about the decree of Allah except by the grace of Allah. In the block, this idea and the idea that objecting to Allah is on the block, she did not think it was possible in her mind by the grace of Allah Almighty. But of course, she cried, "Am I starting a new chemotherapy? Am I starting a new chemotherapy? My hair again?" So we are going from the center: "I am not starting chemotherapy." I told her, "Sarah, I will tell you the story narrated by Al-Bukhari: The Prophet, peace be upon him, visited an old man who was afflicted with a fever." Of course, there was no accurate diagnosis, it was clear that he had a severe illness, shivering to the end. So the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "No harm, it will be pure if Allah wills." She is like that if you want her to be pure with the Prophet's personal supplication, she will be pure, but you want her to be a fever that boils, you say, "As you wish." The narrator and the narration in Bukhari said, "He died that night." The hardest of them is the end: "He died that night." I told her, "Look, Dad, this is when he was patient from the hour he was on paradise all the time." He told this talk and moved to his Lord in distress. She was silent, and her silence sometimes indicates that the concept has been penetrated, the arrow has penetrated, reached the heart, and settled there. And she was very happy when she heard the story at night, telling her story. The story pleased her, telling her story. So stories, people, if Allah Almighty confirms His prophets with stories: "And We have related to you some of the news of the messengers with which We strengthen your heart," what about the children.

Their Commentary on the Quran

Alright, of course, one of the most important means is their commentary on the Quran. Reading the Quran together. You sit down, place your daughter in your lap, put your hand on her, and read the Quran together. Sarah participated in the last competition, in the summer vacation competition we held titled "Let Them Contemplate His Verses." If God wills, if we announce another competition for the second season of this vacation, I strongly advise you to involve your children in it. Whose children participated in it? Oh, whose children participated in the "Let Them Contemplate His Verses" competition? Zero from whom? I think the competition, praise be to God, was very beneficial. It made the children attach to the Quran. I never like the pattern of competitions like "What is the longest word in the Quran." Honestly, information that does not benefit the child. But "God, the Almighty, has forbidden backbiting. If your friend talks about him, where is this meaning in such and such a surah?" He will go and bring you the meaning. It connects the child to the Quran.

For example, Sarah used to not read and participate in competitions to contemplate. She remembered from her last questions regarding reading, she told me: "Daddy, why does God create them and then make them deaf?" "How, Daddy, does He create them deaf?" She told me: "God says: 'The worst of beasts in the sight of Allah are the deaf and the dumb who understand not.' What did you understand? That the one afflicted with a disability, deaf or mute, is as if our Lord is insulting him. 'No, Daddy, the deaf are deaf to hearing the truth, the mute are mute from speaking the truth.' Did you understand? Therefore, attach your children to the Quran, accustom them to understanding the Quran. This is also a preventive measure if they are afflicted with a trial.

Strengthening the Relationship and Participation

Of course, one of the most important things, brothers, is to strengthen the relationship, to participate with them in play. It is not a waste of time at all, but consider it an act of piety to God by which you earn good deeds. You play with them in the clouds, you play with them in the cold. Sometimes you play a very simple game, you take an A4 paper, divide it, draw a tree and a tree, a boy and a boy, a girl and a girl, with color and color, and flip it, and draw on them, then the clever one who comes out with two similar pictures. Okay, so you are organized. The important thing is something that develops memory, anything in participation in this time when everyone's eye is on the mobile phone, no, we leave the mobile phones on the side and do something from participation. Strengthening the relationship is beneficial. Why? Perhaps your son or daughter will reach a stage where he or she endures for you. He is not obligated, so if he endures and bears for you, it is not a problem. He does not have to break your heart by saying a word and you get upset that he says a harsh word. No problem.

Also, one of the most important things that strengthen the relationship is taking the children to school. This is one of the blessings of God upon us last year, meaning it has become, of course, in the last period, you stopped going to school, but before that, when we go, we take them, and some days when we are returning according to my schedule at the university, I return them. The beautiful thing is that the child has a problem that happened at school, a piece of wrong information he unfortunately sometimes hears from teachers, he tells you about it in the car, so you treat it immediately. Therefore, I strongly advise every father that this school journey should, as much as possible, take his children to and from it.

All this talk we have mentioned, brothers, was under what title? Meanings we instill and how we instill them. Before we reach the stage of trial, you want to be prepared, to be preventive before we reach the day when your son or daughter is afflicted with a trial. I ask God to heal you and the children of the Muslims altogether.

And by the way, since we are talking about some of the meanings and instilling them in the children, I strongly advise you to refer to three tapes by Professor Hani bin Ali Al-Abdul Qadir. Write on the internet: Hani bin Ali Al-Abdul Qadir. Three tapes. One titled: "Your Child from the Second to the Tenth," the second: "Practical Methods in Dealing with Adolescents," and the third is like "Our Children" or "We and Our Children." Hani bin Ali Al-Abdul Qadir. Sometimes you see it written incorrectly as Abdul Qadir, it is Al-Abdul Qadir. I think the brother is Kuwaiti and his tapes are excellent, honestly, among the best I have heard in education.

How Can I, as a Father, Endure the Trial of My Son or Daughter

Alright, alright. All of this was a stage of preparation. The trial has occurred, God protect us and protect you and protect the children of the Muslims altogether and our children. If my son or daughter is afflicted with a trial, how can I endure the trial of my son or daughter?

I, brothers, have been working on a series for a while titled "The Art of Having Good Thoughts of God," I think 25 episodes. Those who have watched it, praise be to God, say that it has made a difference in their lives by the grace of God the Almighty. "The Art of Having Good Thoughts of God" 25 short episodes, I advise you to refer back to them. And we have also brought you booklets that may