Lowering the Gaze

Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah.

Introduction and Personal Experience

Dear guests, when I was in Istanbul a few days ago, Allah granted me the opportunity to meet with the son of a friend of mine, a young man of sixteen years. I said to him, "Come, my friend, I will tell you something I hope will leave an impact on you, so that perhaps what happened to me will happen to you. I lost my belongings, and it was an opportunity for me to influence you because I love to seize opportunities and do not love regret."

I chose to speak with him about the topic of lowering the gaze, as he was not a young man of his age, sixteen years old, and there was no hope of marriage on the horizon in the coming years, and the temptation of desires is heavy there. These young people need reminders, and I share with you what I said to him, hoping that it will be of general benefit to our youth and our daughters, by the will of Allah.

Avoiding Temptations

First, young people, a Muslim must not expose himself to temptation, meaning we do not go ourselves to a place where there are temptations and say we will resist. Do not test your faith in this way. How many people have slipped and gone astray from exposing themselves to temptations. And the hypocrites will be told on the Day of Judgment: "But you tempted yourselves," meaning you exposed yourselves to temptation until you were tempted.

Therefore, I was speaking to the brothers in charge of the Quranic summer camp that I sent my son to in Istanbul. I spoke to them about the possibility of holding the camp in another city that is less in manifestations of corruption. They informed me of the difficulties they faced in that regard and how they exert every effort to spare the youth from temptations, so that if they go on a trip by boat, for example, they rent it all. If they go with the youth to playgrounds or swimming pools, they reserve them completely and incur additional costs to spare the youth from unlawful manifestations.

And I seize this opportunity to remind those whom Allah has blessed among the Muslims who have resorts or accommodations in relatively conservative rural areas, where summer camps can be held, to rent them out for such Quranic projects for a reasonable fee, earning the reward for sparing the youth from temptations, and they will have a great reward by the will of Allah.

Dealing with Overwhelming Temptations

Okay, let's return to our topic. Suppose you actually needed to be in a place where there are overwhelming temptations, how would you behave? I asked this young man of sixteen years: Do you suffer from the temptation of women here, my friend? He said to me: Very, very much. I said to him: I will remind you of my experience with this matter and what Allah has honored me with.

I was in the university stage in the bachelor's degree, then in the work stage in Jordan before studying for the doctorate, my exposure to temptations was little, the need to deal with the opposite gender was little, and if there was any interaction, I adhered to lowering the gaze and was preoccupied with study.

My Experience in Academic Work

I received a scholarship to pursue a doctorate from the American University of Houston. The nature of the scholarship is that I study the doctorate at very reduced fees and receive a salary from the university in exchange for my work as a teaching assistant. My work as a teaching assistant means the need to deal with male and female students, where I supervised a laboratory. The nature of the laboratory is that the students and female students are divided into groups. I and the doctor supervising the laboratory give them at the beginning of the laboratory disease cases, then we give them the opportunity to discuss and search for the optimal treatment for them. During this, the students ask us some questions, and we answer and direct them to the appropriate sources. Then a representative or a female representative from each group performs a task, which is to explain how to treat, and we evaluate the performance. Sometimes a visitor or a female visitor from those working in the "pharmacy doctor" sector, meaning a pharmacist, comes to explain to the students about the prospects of the profession.

During this, I performed my duty, lowered my gaze, dealt formally, and provided assistance. What happens in this case is that some Western women, if they see this abstinence and morality from you, they have curiosity and sometimes a desire to break this state of pride you have. It is as if this is the first thing.

Fleeing from Temptation

Second, I fled from temptation. A person may laugh at himself and say: What should I do, my Lord, I am forced to deal with them, and in his heart, he is happy that the temptation came to him, that it is present with him and imposed itself on him. I did not do that, nor did I laugh at myself, but I exchanged the laboratories where there was an attempt to get close with a colleague in the doctoral program, so that I perform a task in which I distance myself from the place of temptation. The believer does not hover around temptations, but if they come to him, he flees from them.

I lived in America next to a mosque with a beautiful Islamic atmosphere, but the residence was not all its inhabitants Muslims. On my way from the parking lot to my apartment, I passed by a swimming pool, and this continued for years. I did not pay attention to this pool and what was in it, thanks to Allah alone and His guidance.

Warning Against the Temptation of Desires and Its Effect on the Heart

Look, young people, I have flaws, shortcomings, and weak points, and I am not perfect, by Allah, but the temptation of desires, in particular, I was very cautious of them, because I fear that they will obscure my heart because of them, so I reach a stage where I hate the religion of Allah and deprive myself of being like those to whom Allah said. I could have said to myself: Minor sins, I can atone for them with good deeds. No, I understood that I could, with the evil of these minor sins, deviate my heart, deviate my heart so that I enter into the major sins of the heart, major sins of the heart like hating what Allah has revealed, and this happened to a number of Muslims in the West whose temptation began with the temptation of desires, then turned into doubts, their heart's mirror was tarnished, and it no longer showed things in their true form. It no longer saw Islam as beautiful nor disbelief as ugly. So when they deviated, Allah deviated their hearts, and Allah does not guide the corrupt.

This was a point of strength that Allah blessed the poor servant with, but on the other hand, I have many weak points, and I ask Allah for forgiveness and well-being.

The Hadith "Temptations are Presented to the Hearts"

While lowering my gaze amidst temptations, I felt the hadith narrated by Muslim that our Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "Temptations are presented to the hearts like the weaving of a mat, one strand at a time." Look at the mat, how it is woven, one strand at a time, one temptation after another. "So any heart that accepts them will have a black spot in it." Meaning if a person accepts the temptation and takes it without defending against it, a small black spot is placed in his heart. "And any heart that rejects them will have a white spot in it." The heart that rejects and flees from this temptation, a white spot is placed in it. "Until they become two types of hearts: one is white like the white of the egg, and no temptation will harm it as long as the heavens and the earth exist." It becomes immune and strong. "The other is black, like the black of the pot, inverted." Black like the color of ashes. Like the pot when it is inverted, meaning like the jar when you turn it over. This jar is our brothers, if you bring a jar and turn it over on its mouth and bring a complete water tank with it, meaning several cubic meters of water, and try to pour the water into this pot or this jar, how much will enter? Not a single drop.

Similarly, the heart that accepts temptations and does not defend against them and tarnishes its heart with blackness, reaches a stage where it is like this inverted jar. Perhaps you bring to him verses, hadiths, poetic verses, companions' situations, and influential stories, and not a single hair in him will be shaken because his heart has already become inverted. And Allah does not say that our Prophet said: "The other is black, like the pot, inverted, and he does not recognize good nor denounce evil except what he has absorbed from his desires." He no longer sees the truth as truth, nor falsehood as falsehood, but rather follows his desires only.

Continuous temptations came, I rejected them, and I felt afterwards the immunity, as if I had received a vaccine with consecutive strengthening doses.

Results of Lowering the Gaze

Purity of the Heart and Discernment

What is the result of all this? I believe that Allah has greatly rewarded me with goodness, by Allah's will. So, the mirror of this heart remains pure, and this makes it more likely to see things as they truly are. "O you who have believed, if you fear Allah, He will make for you a criterion [to judge between right and wrong]" (Quran 8:29). A criterion with which you can distinguish between truth and falsehood. May Allah grant you the light of loving His religion, His Book, and calling to Him.

Academic Excellence

Of course, lowering the gaze and being chaste is one of the causes, not the only thing, but it is an important cause. A student who lives in an environment filled with temptations, who lowers his gaze and remains chaste, is more likely to unleash his energies in beneficial sciences and excel in them, surpassing people of other religions or atheists who do not have these values. And Allah has honored us with this and then blessed me with a righteous daughter, may Allah honor her, and we ask Allah not to deprive us of His blessing due to our lack of gratitude.

The Pleasure of Triumphing Over the Forbidden

Imagine, dear honorable ones, if the poor servant, when temptations swirled around him, if he slipped a little and followed this slip, became attached and had consecutive slips, would Allah use him in calling to Him and pointing to Him? The suffering of lowering the gaze turns into pleasure, the pleasure of triumphing over the forbidden, the pleasure of victory over Satan, the soul that incites to evil, and the enemies of Allah who want to tempt the youth of Muslims, the pleasure of sacrificing for the sake of Allah and prioritizing His love and glorification over fleeting pleasures. Then, by Allah's permission, the matter becomes easier and easier, and Allah increases guidance for those who have been guided.

The Reward of Paradise

I mention this to you, dear youth, not to boast, for the favor is first and last, outward and inward, belongs to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. Rather, I mention this to you because our Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." And by Allah, I love for you what I love for myself.

I know, dear youth, that temptation is severe these days, but remember when you lower your gaze, you are not dealing with dry, rigid rules. You are dealing with the Lord of Honor, the Wise, the All-Knowing, who sees you and hears you, knows the treachery of the eyes and what the breasts conceal. He did not command you to lower your gaze except that He knows you are capable of it. "Allah does not charge a soul except according to what it can bear" (Quran 2:286). You are dealing with the Kind, the Generous, who, if He sees you endure for His sake, will love you, honor you, and grant you, and what greater blessings than those of Allah, the Exalted.

The delay in marriage is not a natural state, and one of its causes is the thievery of the affluent in Muslim lands. We must work to reclaim our stolen rights and establish the law of Allah so that the youth and girls can enjoy lawful marriage at an appropriate age. We must encourage facilitating marriage with psychological, scientific, and educational preparation for it. Until then, we remember the words of Allah, the Exalted: "And those who cannot find [the means for marriage] should keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them from His bounty" (Quran 24:33).

You are either part of the problem of the nation or part of its solution. If you do not lower your gaze, you will be part of the nation's problem and affected by it in this aspect. How beautiful it is to be a solution to the problem by calling to Allah to help Muslim women who are immodest to obey Allah and cooperate with their believing brothers to restore the glory of the nation.

Of course, you may be deficient in this aspect but good in other aspects, and even if you are deficient, do not despair and keep resisting yourself and Satan, seeking help from Allah. And I always advise in this regard the series "Management of Sins" by our brother Dr. Ayman Al-Balawi.

By Allah, dear youth, all the beauties of this world do not compare to the beauty of being a cause for the guidance of a young man or woman and their return to Islam or to the obedience of Allah, the Exalted. May my seeds be blessed, perhaps my Lord will water them, so I see those who abandon the Fajr prayer praying in the first row, and a girl, after her immodesty, has taken refuge in the complete hijab, or one who disobeyed his mother now clings to her feet in humility. May my contribution to the children be a craft of their father's future, a future of strong faith and steadfastness that repels the plots of their enemies. These pleasures are not comparable to forbidden pleasures.

Indeed, Allah's merchandise is precious? Indeed, Allah's merchandise is Paradise, as our Prophet, peace be upon him, said. Paradise is eternal happiness that never ends, no death with it, no sickness, no sorrow, no fatigue, no fear, no anxiety. "In Paradise, there is no hardship or fatigue." And the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, as narrated by Bukhari: "A morning or an evening spent in the cause of Allah is better than the world and all that is in it." Meaning, an expedition in jihad is better than the world and all that is in it. "And the space of a bow's length in Paradise or the space of a whip's length is better than the world and all that is in it." What does this mean now? The bow with which arrows are shot, notice that the distance between the bow and the string, for example, this distance in this amount, how much will it be, square centimeters. This amount in Paradise, this amount in Paradise, square centimeters, is better than the world and all that is in it. And the space of a whip's length, the whip with which the horse is struck to make it run faster. If this whip is placed on the ground, a whip not a voice, meaning if the whip is placed on the ground, it will occupy an area of how much? Also a few square centimeters. This amount in Paradise is better than the world and all that is in it. Strange? No, it's not strange. Why? Because this amount in Paradise is permanent and does not fade, while the world is fleeting and perishable.

Then our Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "If a woman from the people of Paradise were to look at the people of the earth, she would illuminate what is between them and fill it with a pleasant fragrance. And half of her head covering is better than the world and all that is in it, better than the world and all that is in it." Imagine, dear honorable ones, you are either a believer that Muhammad, peace be upon him, is the Messenger of Allah, informing about his Lord, the Exalted, with truth and sincerity, so this speech should help you in your journey of lowering the gaze in your life. And if you doubt, return to reinforcing certainties until such speech from our Prophet, peace be upon him, shakes you.

Advice for Youth and Girls

This speech that I mentioned to you in these minutes, I mentioned it to the son of my friend whom I met in Istanbul, and I said to him: I want you to speak to me after a month, O so-and-so, about the effect these words had on you and how they charged your determination. And I say the same to you, dear honorable youth, let me be happy that I wasted my documents and that I recorded these words for you with what I will see of their effect on you, by Allah's permission.

And this, by the way, is a reminder to the parents to be honest with their teenage children, to ask them about what they are exposed to, to show them understanding, to give them solutions, and to remind them of the great rewards with Allah, the Exalted.

What about our daughters? Is this speech only for the youth? Know, O my daughters, that some of you also suffer with lowering the gaze and preserving yourself in environments of temptation. And everything I said to the youth, I say to you, the advice is to avoid places of temptation from the beginning, not to hover around temptations, and not to make excuses that they came to us. And remember the great rewards in obeying Allah, the Exalted.

Umm Salama, may Allah be pleased with her, said: O Messenger of Allah, we women said that we do not see Allah mentioning except men. So Allah, the Exalted, revealed a verse that clarifies that the mentioned rewards are for males and females. And He said, the Exalted: "The believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward" (Quran 33:35).

Supplication and Conclusion

I ask Allah, the Exalted, to help us all in His obedience and to grant us light in our insights and to bless the Islamic nation with a situation in which temptations fade and in which the joy of lawful marriage prevails and in which our nation regains its glory and honor.

Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.