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This content has been automatically translated. View original in Arabic
Peace be upon you and the mercy of God, dear people.
One of my relatives told me a moving story about a woman who had children in the same country and one child who had emigrated. She grew old and became dependent on their service. The emigrated son was dutiful, sending money to his mother, while the children in the same country began to tire of serving their mother, becoming disgusted and treating her inappropriately.
The emigrated son decided to come to the country to reason with his brothers and comfort his mother's heart, so he took a two-week leave. God willed that his mother passed away during this leave, but before her death, she turned to him and said, "May God be pleased with you, so-and-so, and may He not be pleased with you, so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so... from them, God will not be pleased."
According to the mother's words, these were the children who served her (with coldness), while the one who was abroad, she was pleased with him before her death. Our topic now is not to analyze this cruelty, but the point is that when our parents grow old, we should serve them, take care of them, and be concerned for them with a good heart and willingly.
We must remember that this is a great opportunity to earn good deeds. I have been telling people these days: "Squeeze out good deeds from your parents," so if your parents are alive, seize this opportunity.
When God Almighty brings illness and weakness to parents in their old age, it is for a wisdom; so that their sins are removed from them, and so that you are given a great opportunity to earn good deeds and acquire blessings in your life.
I remember that once in a gathering, one of the attendees said, "If I grow old and get Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, why should I be a burden on others and mentally distressed? I will take (the mercy killing) and end this life." I told her, "This concept suits people who do not believe in God and the Hereafter."
But the one who believes that there is a Lord and that there is an Afterlife, Heaven and Hell, knows that this weakness and illness at the end of life is an opportunity for the elderly to have their sins removed and for their Lord to be pleased with them if they accept God's decree. It is a great opportunity for those you say the elderly become a "burden" on; so that they may earn good deeds, draw closer to God, and acquire blessings. Faith changes your perspective on life completely.
Keep this in mind as you serve your parents, recalling the words of God Almighty: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and to parents do good." See how He joined the worship of God and not associating anything with Him with doing good to parents, to show the greatness of this matter.
"And when they reach old age in your care, one of them or both," the word "in your care" implies that they are under your guardianship, that they are refugees to you and in need of you. "Or both," as Ibn Ashur said - and God knows best his intention - sometimes a child has two elderly parents, but he loves one more than the other. Perhaps the mother has been good to him and the father has been bad to him. In this case, he may only be good to the mother. But the verse emphasizes: even if it is only the father, or the mother who is bad to you, you must treat her with respect.
And why did He say "or both"? Because a person may internally complain and say, "My parents are sick and they occupy all my time." Do not make excuses that both your parents need care, but "do not say to them, 'Uff,'" which is the simplest word of disgust, "and do not scold them," even if they scold you or treat you badly, "but say to them a noble word," meaning, be creative in speaking kindly to them.
"Lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy"; look at the expression, you are required to humble yourself to your parents. Ibn Ashur, may God have mercy on him, said: "Then He ascended in the guardianship of parents to command the son to be humble to them, humbling himself to the point of humiliation, to remove the shyness of their souls if they are in need of the son's help."
Parents always want to be the benefactors to their children, so if they reach a stage where they need the care of their children, they may feel ashamed. The purpose of this humbling is to thank them for their previous favors. Do this out of mercy for them, not out of flattery or pretence, "and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" Do not be content with treating them kindly in their presence, but also pray for them in their absence.
Al-Sayyid Qutb, may God have mercy on him, has beautiful expressions in his book "In the Shade of the Quran" that explain the psychological state of people and how a person is driven towards life and does not pay attention to their parents. He says, may God have mercy on him:
"With these affectionate expressions and evocative images, the Quran stirs the feelings of kindness and mercy in the hearts of the children. For life, as it rushes along its way with the living, directs their strong attention forward; to the offspring, to the new emerging generation, to the coming generation. And rarely does it direct their attention backward; to parenthood, to the nurturing life, to the departing generation. And thus, children need their feelings to be stirred strongly so that they turn back and pay attention to the fathers and mothers."
Brothers, this is a great opportunity for you to earn good deeds and show that you are grateful. Do not be ungrateful to people and expect to be grateful to God. Honor them before you regret it, serve them and take care of them "willingly," and make them feel that you are honored and happy to serve them.
May God Almighty help us all to honor our parents in their lives and after their deaths. Peace be upon you.