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Some young people sometimes see a contradiction within themselves. They perform actions that demonstrate reverence for God and His religion, yet at other times they engage in behavior that reflects neglect of God’s commands and disregard for uprightness. This contradiction can be separated by mere minutes or even seconds—one moment they may be full of reverence for God, and the next, that reverence fades away.
One of the most dangerous things is to let your lower self whisper to you: “You are a hypocrite. You are inconsistent. Since you commit these sins, the good you do has no value. In fact, your good deeds are laughable and ridiculous.” Beware of this, my brothers and sisters—it is one of the devil’s most dangerous traps.
In the story of our brother who repented from pornography, he said:
“During all this confusion, I still had reverence for God—and this was instilled in us by my father, may God reward him with good.”
I asked him to elaborate: “What do you mean, you still had reverence for God?”
He replied:
“Once, I was playing soccer regularly with a group of young men. One of them—God protect us—blasphemed against the Lord or the religion. I immediately left the game. And when the mosques were closed during the coronavirus crisis, I was devastated. I kept saying, ‘How can the House of God be closed?’” By the way, he sent me this information in an audio recording and cried afterward—he had such deep sorrow over the closure of God’s houses.
He continued:
“I would go to prayer when the mosques reopened, but I wouldn’t remain steadfast for long. When I went out with friends on a trip, we’d play music, but if we passed by a mosque, we’d turn it off and wouldn’t dare leave it playing. If we passed by a cemetery, we’d say to each other, ‘Turn off the music and pray for the dead,’ and then two minutes later, we’d turn it back on! It felt like we were in a state of dissociation. May God forgive us.”
The lesson here, my brothers and sisters, is this: yes, this contradiction is painful, and you must not accept it or become complacent with it. But do not allow the devil to tell you: “Since you are falling short, just give up everything—it’s all ruined.” No. The reverence for God that remains in your heart may be the very lifeline that pulls you from drowning.
The good within you is worthy of praise—so rejoice in it, strengthen yourself through it, and do not belittle it. Do not see it as ‘dissociation’; instead, affirm it and build upon it. There is a huge difference between the person who says, “I have good within me despite my contradictions, so I will affirm this good and try to increase it,” and the person who says, “I have good within me despite my contradictions, so this good is worthless, and I will abandon it.”
I once posted a segment titled “It’s all ruined,” warning against this kind of thinking. A sister commented:
“When I was immodestly dressed, some men at work would reach out to shake my hand. I would refuse and apologize, saying it is not permissible. They’d say to me, ‘Come on, you’re immodest—what difference will it make?’ And I’d reply, ‘No, I will not add another sin to my sin.’”
So do not let the devil bury you under the slogan “It’s all ruined.” Hold onto the reverence for God that remains in your heart—it is the most hopeful thing you can meet God with, and it may well be the rope that pulls you from drowning.