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Let us understand what is truly happening inside you. After puberty, a natural inclination toward males develops in a female, along with an innate need for love, care, and companionship. This feeling in itself is not a flaw, nor is it something you should hate about yourself; rather, it is a natural disposition created by God in you for a profound wisdom.
The problem begins, however, when you suppress this feeling early on—whether through your own self-talk or by listening to others who say to you, “It’s shameful; you’re still young; don’t think about these things.” You suppress the feeling, but it does not disappear; it remains latent.
The journey continues through school, university, and perhaps work, while marriage is delayed and complicated by costs, customs, and demands that God has not sanctioned. At the same time, you find an environment, media, and social platforms operating around the clock to inflame your emotions and open the doors to the unlawful with the press of a button.
At this point, a girl may resort to expressing her emotions in different ways:
At this juncture, religion comes to say to you, “This relationship is not permissible,” “This action is wrong,” “This attire is not appropriate.” Without your conscious awareness, you begin to associate religion with deprivation, and you ask in distress, “Why is everything forbidden? Why does religion torment me?”
This is the moment when it is crucial to understand what has truly happened. Religion is not responsible for torturing you with your emotions. After outlining in Surah An-Nisa the guidelines for relations between the genders, God, the Exalted, says:
God intends to lighten the burden for you, for man was created weak.
All these rulings are a mercy toward you and a protection from the pain of this world and the torment of the Hereafter. God has legislated for you a pure outlet: marriage, in which the emotion of love is transformed into a great blessing, affection, mercy, tranquility, loyalty, and the building of a noble family where you experience the emotion of motherhood.
Let us ask with fairness: Who is truly tormenting you?
They pour gasoline on the fire, and when religion comes to extinguish it, they say to you, “Look, religion has come to ruin your life!”
Do not let them deceive you, and do not let your pain be directed in error toward the One who protects you. Do not give the true “tormentor” two victories: one by making lawful marriage difficult for you, and another by making you suspect your Lord, the Almighty, simply because the unlawful is forbidden.
The final message, my daughter, is: Do not flee from God; flee to Him.
Peace be upon you and God’s mercy.