Discussing the Objections to "I am Free" Episode

In the name of Allah, praise be to Allah and peace be upon His Messenger May the peace of Allah be upon you all I wish you all a blessed day Thanks to Allah Almighty, our Women in Depth episodes were well-received and had a big impact according to the positive feedback I've received The series struck a chord with many viewers, by the grace of Allah However, disagreement is expected between humans Some brothers and sisters objected especially to the last episode related to Qiwamah (men's authority, responsibility & protection) titled "I am Free" I noticed that some viewers posted well-written objections such as: "We have benefited a lot from Dr. Eyad's series and the episodes on women are informative, but..." Then they list their comments Dear viewers, let me first say that it is good and commended for us to exchange advice I like how the viewers are defending what they believe in It's also important not to get attached to people and to say, "Here Eyad was right and here's where I think he missed the point." All of this is good, and I encourage it wholeheartedly However, I ask the viewers to be scientific in their criticism Therefore, in this live broadcast —which won't be long, Allah willing— let us discuss how 'scientific' the objections were After examining the objections we found that they fall into three categories i.e. the objections were due to one of three reasons: Some believed that part of what I said in this episode was wrong or that I was following fringe opinions. They said, “Eyad is quoting the views of the late Malikis on retribution from men who, unjustly strike their wives (for example) or Eyad, in the episode on Qiwamah, sets conditions for Qiwamah Where did he find such conditions? There's no supporting evidence! They assume that I'm saying things without evidence, or that I follow the fringe opinions of scholars Others assume I am unaware of what takes place in reality: "Brother, women are exaggerating their victimhood We must not focus on isolated cases of men's oppression which are blown out of proportion and over-emphasized. You should not focus on them." They think that I am not sufficiently aware of the reality Others say my words will be misused, "Eyad, you could be right, but your words will be misunderstood, and some women may start disobeying their husbands even in obligatory duties. They might abandon Islamic hijab and go out at will proclaiming, 'You have let me down; therefore, I refuse your Qiwamah.'" Dear viewers, let me tell you that I took all of your points into consideration Such remarks come from people who have no idea of the excruciating effort invested in these episodes! Brothers and sisters, let me reassure you by telling you how these episodes are made; I have been meaning to talk about this for a while I may dedicate an entire episode to explain how these episodes are made to reassure you about their thoroughness and scholarly accuracy I'd like you to know, brothers and sisters, that I don't utter a word until I consult others; as per Allah's command that can be translated as, "...whose affairs are by mutual consultation..." (Quran 42:38) I discuss scientific, jurisprudence and doctrinal topics only after consultation as Allah says, what can be translated as, "If you do not know then ask those who have the knowledge." (Quran 21:7) As for those who believe that I'm wrong and think that I improvise or follow fringe opinions; please note that this episode: "I am Free" went through four different consultations in the jurisprudential area alone! Four seasoned scholars! I also read much research such as: "The Effect of Withholding Expenditure on Marital Separation in Comparative Islamic Jurisprudence" Also: "Qiwamah Forfeiture Causes: A Comparative Juristic Study" I read widely and consulted scholars before saying what I said Others said I was unaware of the reality, "Well, perhaps Eyad saw one or two oppressed women or a man who misused Qiwamah and is generalizing." Never, dear viewers! In my 44 years I have seen quite a lot of cases Furthermore, I did not speak until I consulted a distinguished brother —a family counselor— who has witnessed thousands of cases and a family doctor who has witnessed hundreds of cases These two brothers are active in their respective fields The family counselor provided details as follows: "The majority of women aged forty-five and above do suffer from abuse of Qiwamah and lack of understanding of the limitations on rights and responsibilities While young women and girls under forty-five display feminism and self-deification more than the older women. For example, women in the 1960s and 1970s suffered from the misuse of Qiwamah After that, feminism prevailed." Thus, the whole topic is based on a study of reality, meticulous research and a wide case review With regard to the impact of my words some brothers said, "You may be right, but your words may have the wrong impact and may be misused." I would like you to know that for this episode alone — as far as I can recall— I consulted six brothers and sisters who are not specialists in religious knowledge but who have sound views They are not scholars yet they have wisdom and vision Brothers and sisters, I write down all controversial thoughts and words and consult others about the soundness of my ideas and the right way to express them to avoid misunderstandings! I go through every word; word by word It is very easy to broadcast ideas! How difficult can it be to have some ideas and just spread them around and that's that?! No! I scrutinize my words, one by one to ensure that they are not misused For those who say, "Eyad may be right or wrong!" That's 100% true I am just a fallible human However, what I humbly publish is not my personal opinion! It is the result of extensive scrutiny, reviews and wide consultations All said, misunderstandings will undoubtedly and unquestionably happen and words will be misused! I address a large segment of viewers Almost 200,000 have viewed this episode on YouTube in addition to hundreds of thousands on Facebook When you address hundreds of thousands some are bound to misunderstand the Quran and Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) Some of them will deliberately misuse the words and follow their whims This is how they deal with the Quran and Sunnah so my words will not be spared My part is to scrutinize, take as many precautions as possible seek advice and ask Allah for guidance However, misunderstandings and misuse will inevitably follow Brothers and sisters: If anyone can come up with a firmly grounded argument that is established on Shari'a (Islamic law), backed by evidence and founded on the opinions of scholars and then guarantee that it will not be misused, misinterpreted or misemployed to suit personal whims; I'll hand over my channel to him and ask him to continue this series in my place Unfortunately, misinterpretation is bound to occur I am trying my best, and I'm deeply saddened when I see my words misused But this is unavoidable when it comes to human effort Some might say, "Eyad, a divorce occurred because of your words or as a result of this or that episode!" Let me tell you this: I know of tens, even hundreds of families that have stabilized and marital relationships that have improved because of these episodes Therefore, we are conducting a survey on the last episode, and two on the one preceding it Allah willing, we will publish the results of these surveys If my words truly impact people negatively then indeed, by Allah there must be something wrong! I would need to review over and over again and ask myself, "What made my words destructive?" But, thanks to Allah, this is not true You will see the survey results for yourselves, Allah willing I would like to say to those who think that I follow fringe opinions —please forgive me for saying this— but you don't know your religion! That is why you are shocked, you disapprove and deny what is part of your religion For example, in the last episode: The forfeiture of a man's right to Qiwamah is an indisputable matter if he does not spend on his wife the forfeiture of his rights to Qiwamah —Notice that my words are precise and calculated: up to the minutest detail by Allah— I didn't say: the forfeiture of his Qiwamah but: The forfeiture of his right to Qiwamah This means that his Qiwamah becomes subject to the woman's approval if he fails to provide the minimum Shari'a-sanctioned allowance This does not include luxuries such as the latest car model. No! We went through all this in the episode The minimum Shari'a-sanctioned allowance is indisputably tied to Qiwamah It is not my invention nor my brainchild! The correlation between Qiwamah and expenditure is clearly expressed in the following verse: "...with what Allah has given to some more than others and with what they spend out of their own money" (QTM 4:34) The verse is clear, and I'm not here to re-interpret the Quran like Shahrour and others! This is the meaning of the verse as agreed by Islamic scholars This is not where the disagreement lies. Rather, scholars differ on those who are unable to spend due to unforeseen events I didn't detail this part for several reasons But, if a man deliberately withholds or unjustifiably falls short on his wife's expenses the forfeiture of his Qiwamah right is agreed among scholars Ibnul-Qayyim addressed this issue in his book, "Provision for the Hereafter" He said, "What the fundamentals and rules of Shari'a call for in this case is that if a man tricks a woman into thinking he is rich to get her to marry him but later it comes to light that he is destitute or he is well-off but does not spend on his wife; and she is unable to secure her needs by herself (from his money) or through the ruler, she is entitled to an annulment." "an annulment" means revocation of the marriage contract As for the episode on "beating" women a brother said, "Eyad keeps quoting the opinions of the late Malikis: that a woman has the right of retribution from her husband if he strikes her unjustly or excessively i.e. it is no longer a disciplinary measure, as discussed before but a barbaric beating! These are the late Maliki opinions." No brother! Forgive me if I say that you don't know your religion For example, in the Hanabili book "Al-Insaf", the author says, "There shall be no retribution between a wife and husband when he disciplines her; however, if he transgresses, wounds or breaks bones, he shall be punished likewise." This is not an opinion from the late Malikis, but from the Hanabilis The Shafi'is in their book "Asna Al-Matalib", say, "A husband, teacher, father, mother, etc., is the guarantor for the wife, the young child and the like; if permission for discipline given by a father to a teacher results in a punishment that exceeds the limit —i.e. may result in death e.g. using a tool that kills— this is subject to retribution." Al-Dirdir, a Maliki scholar in "Al-Sharh Al-Kabir", said, "Severe beating is not permitted even if it is known that she will only stop disobedience through it. If it does befall her, she is granted divorce and retribution for it." Ibn Hazm says in "Al-Muhallah", "If it's found that he has unjustly assaulted her, he's subject to retribution." These are the words of the Hanbalis, Shafi'is, Malikis and Ibn-Hazm Al-Thahiri This is what I was able to research. Allah knows better if there are other texts; which is probable Therefore, brothers, do not presume that I am quoting fringe opinions so that my words will appeal to the sisters! No! Forgive me for saying so but you don't know your religion It isn't my style to resort to flattery to make Islam more appealing to others or alter Islam to convince people No, no! That's not my style at all! My firm belief since childhood —thank Allah for this blessing— is that Islam is beautiful just the way it is Islam is beautiful just the way Allah sent it down! Islam does not need any cosmetics, patches, modifications, twists or turns to suit each and every whim My job is simply to tell you about Islam as it is —after removing the impurities and distortions added by others— then to ask, "How do you like the religion of your Lord?" Congratulations on your sound innate natures! But, if you don't like to hear 'Allah said' or 'His Prophet said' then accuse yourselves and know that you're controlled by your desires! This is my method thanks to Allah! When I spoke about the myth of evolution many esteemed brothers objected I'm not talking about laymen who are uninvolved in Islamic activism or the issue of atheism I'm talking about people who are active in combating atheism! Many objected to what I said, "Eyad! Don't keep saying 'the myth of atheism' and ridiculing Richard Dawkins and others. You'll alienate the very audience we're seeking to attract!" My answer was, "I will not pander to anyone at the expense of Allah's religion I will not call a ridiculous myth and a worthless joke a theory I will not treat it as scientific or consider it worthy of review and examination. It's a myth; which I will prove scientifically!" I'll say this from the first episode without any sugar-coating As for those who might be alienated by Allah, it is difficult for me to alienate anyone It's really hard on me! I would love to see them embrace Islam I'd love it if they became convinced of the myth's falsehood. But I won't use flattery to achieve this: by treating it as a theory worthy of respect or calling those who embrace it scientists They are ignorant! I've always stressed that when I call it a 'myth' and treat it with the ridicule it deserves —because it is a joke a true farce— I aim to revive pride in the hearts of Muslims so they know that there is science and there is pseudoscience and that pseudoscience is falsehood which Allah debunks with truth When I'm convinced that something is false I will state that bluntly and when I want to attract people to the truth that I see, I won't edit Islam I won't refer to fringe opinions or mold opinions to reflect my beliefs I will only present Islam, the way I am convinced that Allah, Most High has revealed it; after consultation, seeking Allah's guidance and asking people of knowledge Therefore, esteemed viewers the objections made by some viewers to the episode: "I Am Free" on Qiwamah fall under one of four categories I will conclude with these words: The brothers who objected either responded to things I did not say —what is known as 'strawman fallacy'— they huff and puff, then cite evidence from the Quran and Sunnah in response Who are you responding to? "To Eyad!" But did Eyad say this? No, by Allah, I did not! You say, "How can you say his Qiwamah will be forfeited if he doesn't treat her kindly?!" Did I say it will be forfeited if he doesn't treat her with kindness or abuses her? Did I say that? I said, "If he fails to spend money on her when he's able to then his Qiwamah right shall be forfeited." Is there a difference between the two statements? Yes, by Allah, there is! Try to say both out loud, two or three times, to know the difference or ask a scholar to help you out! Some say, "No, the male is better than the female." Did I even bring up this topic; in any way? I never spoke about who is better: the male or the female All I said was that Allah preferred men over women in certain things: rulings, duties and physical traits and preferred women over men in others: rulings, duties, characteristics, physical traits, etc. As for the issue of absolute preference Ibn Hazm and others presented views on whether Allah prefers men over women However, this was not my topic nor was it the topic of the episode If this was what you understood then it's a misconception formed in a hurry, which I understand and excuse, but you shouldn't wage a war against something I never said Some others... Remember the first group are those who discussed things I did not even say They were answering someone other than Eyad The second group repeated some principles I had mentioned then confirmed them —as if I had said otherwise— such as when one objector asked about this paragraph: Qiwamah isn't related to your biological masculinity: because you carry the "Y" chromosome while the woman carries the "X" chromosome You, the husband, have Qiwamah as long as you fulfill its duties If you fail to fulfill these duties and stop spending, you no longer deserve it On the above paragraph, many responded with details and references to say, "No, this is not true. You mean that if a man fails to spend, Qiwamah goes to the woman? You mean that if a man is physically weak, Qiwamah is transferred to the woman?!" By Allah, people! Did I not explain all of this in full detail and say everything that could be said to clarify that Qiwamah can never be shifted to the woman? Did I not say that even if the woman spends on her husband the Qiwamah doesn't become hers; while explaining the reason for that? An episode of 35 minutes judged by the contents of a two-minute paragraph! Can you please refer to the entire episode? Please go back and listen to it if you want to know what I said Some asked, "Why shouldn't Qiwamah be decided by the Y chromosome?! Indeed, it is the Y chromosome which decides Qiwamah!" I say to them, No brothers You truly do not know your religion Qiwamah is not related to the Y chromosome! This does not mean that a woman can have Qiwamah However, your biological masculinity alone does not make you eligible for Qiwamah But, "...with what Allah has given to some more than others and with what they spend out of their own money..." (QTM 4:34) With this, I mean to fight the false belief held by some men that if they stay home and spend their money on cigarettes; and when asked to go fetch bread they say, "It is cold, I don't want to go out!" But when they run out of tobacco —even at midnight— they rush out to buy They are not ready to shoulder the family responsibilities but think that their testosterone and Y chromosome make them masters of the household! No! Such thinking is invalid and un-Islamic Anyone who says otherwise is simply ignorant about his religion Forgive me for saying so! The third group that responded emphasized things that are invalid according to Shari'a They think that I am improvising As previously clarified many of us: men and women alike are unfortunately ignorant about our religion Let us revisit our religion before denying out of ignorance The fourth group asked me to explain things which I'd explained before but will do again, Allah willing For example, one of them —a polite person may Allah reward him amply; although politeness is not the issue I do not like it when people give me the title of Sheikh! I don't say: "Consult a scholar" referring to myself I am not a scholar I am a simple person like you but I always try to consult and seek guidance I only speak about the things I know by the grace of Allah— What I was saying is that one brother answered politely saying, "Dr. Eyad, I believe you should draw women's attention to the issue of submission. You need to combat this self-deification that has taken hold of some women Why don't you mention the rights a wife owes her husband!?" For Allah's sake, brother may Allah guide you What did I do in "The SuperWoman" episode? "When the Muslim Woman Deifies Herself" episode? Didn't I tackle this issue ad nauseum —I hope it wasn't boring in its details but entertaining— Did we not speak in detail about the phenomenon of self-deification? About the self-deification of women in the West? And how some women in the Islamic world imitate the self-deification of women in the West? Did we not bring up the issues of objection, aversion, selectivity and misinterpretation; and that submission to Allah has to be established? We explained all of this in lengthy episodes in the "Women in Depth" series and outside it Do you expect me, brothers —whenever I mention something— to repeat all of its specifics? All of its details, every time? The episode, "I Am Free" —even after much summarization and the removal of many parts and ideas— ended up being a 35 minutes episode A lot of people get sticker-shock when they see a 35-minute long video and move it to 'watch later' We must agree on one thing to set things straight When I tackle a massive topic such as women I need to provide details and sort the material to related bullets In one episode, I speak about self-deification; about submission in another about Qiwamah; yet another about "beating" women, etc. Otherwise, it would be impossible to move forward It is impossible to tackle the whole topic from all angles in one episode Dear viewers, for those who say, "Why don't you talk about such and such?" The things you bring up have either been mentioned in full detail in previous episodes or will be the topic of future ones, Allah willing I will speak about obedience to the husband in its proper context in the next episode or the one after, Allah willing To those who say, "Until then misunderstandings may arise." I repeat: It is out of my control; misunderstanding is an inevitable result of all human effort We need to break up the content as I said before Now, dear viewers having said all this let me reiterate: I am only human; I can be right or wrong but this effort is not mine alone I consult, seek guidance and ask the people of knowledge They first validate my ideas then together, we fully develop the episode before publishing Therefore, I ask my viewers to take a breath before they hasten to criticize Try to understand what I say And then when you come up with clear evidence which contradicts what I say, you are most welcome! Otherwise, frankly, you are distracting me with side battles! I have to reply, "Brother, please go watch this or that episode." or, "Brother, I did answer this point in the same episode." Thus, we end up wasting our time and not moving forward Only Allah knows the extent of the effort exerted on these episodes in the midst of other academic and social preoccupations Still, I aim for as much excellence as possible before releasing the episodes to the public If you want to talk about them please do, May Allah reward you amply! Advise me and show me my mistakes you are all most welcome However, please do so in a 'scientific' way May Allah reward you and accept our efforts I ask Allah, the Greatest the Lord of the Great Throne to guide us all, to use us to guide others and protect us from going astray or causing others to go astray May Allah's peace be upon you