Islam and "Beating" Women
Peter and Julie,
had a happy life together
but lately, Julie's attitude
began to change
She became aggressive with Peter
Peter was understanding and
put it down to temporary mood swings
But Julie's bad-temper increased and
started treating Peter with disrespect;
intentionally ruining their relationship;
for no apparent reason
Peter spoke to her with compassion
reminding her of their happy days together
However, Julie's attitude became worse!
Peter then avoided her
and started treating her coldly
to get her back to her senses
But Julie's attitude got even worse
She followed Peter around;
screaming at him,
"I hate you. I won't listen to you.
You mean nothing to me."
She didn't give him a chance
to avoid her
and their relationship deteriorated
Peter held himself in check
to avoid becoming aggressive himself
because he loves Julie
and does not want
their relationship to end
He just wants to jolt her out
of her rebellious state
Once, while he was calmly
trying to deal with her screaming
Peter gently slapped Julie's wrists,
shook her and said,
"That's enough Julie.
Stop! Please. That's enough."
At that point, Julie cried and
threw herself into Peter's arms
He comforted her and wiped her tears
She calmed down after that
and their life became happy again!
Peter and Julie's romantic scene is,
in fact
a Shari'a-sanctioned scene in Islam
for emergency situations:
An exceptional solution
for situations that might
occur in some families
The scary scene of an abusive
Muslim husband and his victimized wife
actually takes place in the West
outside the studios of Hollywood
as a consequence
of illicit love relationships
However, when Islam is not implemented
at the state level
or by the general Muslim public;
when humans and jinn devils
work day and night
to tarnish Islam and beautify
the Ignorance of this era,
concepts are overturned
and perceptions
are completely reversed
We are here today to awaken Muslims:
husbands and wives;
not to defend deviant practices
among Muslims
or compare Muslims' morals
to those of other nations
Yet, if we did carry out such comparisons
—despite all our problems—
they would not fare better!
However, today we are here
to determine
the true Islamic guidelines
and realize the beauty of our religion
so we don't solve our problems
by imitating the East or West, but by
returning to the Noble Quran and
the Sunnah (the Prophet's tradition)
Brothers and sisters:
let us reformat our mindset
Let us get rid of the accumulated
perceptions that seeped
in our subconscious minds during
years of propaganda,
bad practices in our societies, and
unrealistic movies and music
Let us see where Islam truly stands
and where Ignorance stands
on the issue of beating women
The guidelines of Islam are preserved
in Quran and Sunnah
We will talk about these guidelines;
not about Muslims
who deviated from them.
In Islam:
"And live with them in kindness"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:19)
Allah commands you
to treat your wife well
and live with her in kindness
What is "kindness"?
Let us ask our mother Aisha
Allah be pleased with her
who said, about her husband
Peace & Blessing upon him,
"His character was the Quran."
(Ahmad)
Ask her about his beautiful gestures
which filled their lives;
as cited abundantly
in the episode
"Nada complains to Aisha"
Feeding your wife with your hand
is a prophetic tradition
Our prophet
Peace & Blessings upon him, said,
"You will be rewarded for whatever
you spend for Allah's sake even
if it were a morsel which you put
in your wife's mouth." (Bukhari)
Drinking with your wife
from the same cup
is what your Prophet
used to do
Peace & Blessings upon him
When Aisha drank
—even while menstruating—
the Prophet would take the cup
and put his mouth
where her mouth was and drink
Coldness in family relationships
is not Islamic
The lack of emotion marking
the lives of many couples
is not from Islam
So if you compare;
compare with the Islam sourced
from Quran and Sunnah and not
the lives of "Muslims"!
In Islam,"due to the wives is similar
to what is expected of them."
according to what is reasonable."
(QTM 2:228)
Your rights over your husband are
the same as his over you!
He must groom himself for your benefit,
respect your feelings,
and be faithful to you;
exactly as he expects from you
This is the default in marriage
Now, if a woman behaves aggressively
Islam advises the husband
to maintain the relationship
and be patient,
"... And live with them in kindness.
For if you dislike them,
perhaps you dislike a thing
and Allah makes therein much good."
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:19)
If a woman persists in
her efforts to ruin the family
"What is it you want, dear?"
"I don't want you!"
Then divorce him!
Return his dowry or part of it
and separate
Marriage is not a life sentence in prison!
She does not want to divorce him
but insists on making life difficult
The husband has the option of divorce:
A conscious decision
subject to detailed conditions;
as a solution, not as revenge!
Even divorce must be done with grace,
"Divorce may be retracted twice, then
the husband must retain (her) with
kindness or separate with grace."
(Quran Translated Meaning 2:229)
Treating women
is restricted to a range:
between kindness and grace!
"... So give them a present,
and release them in a pleasant
manner."
(Quran Translated Meaning 33:49)
Islam is pleasant in all aspects;
even in times of disagreement!
Even if she wrongs and offends you
you have to end the relationship
with grace and pleasantness;
unlike the disappointing examples
—sadly common among Muslims—
of excessive hostility during divorce
between the couple and their families!
What if the husband cannot bear
to end the relationship?
He heeds the below verse
—which can be translated as—
And do not forget kindness
among yourselves." (Quran 2:237)
He remembers the good times
in their marriage
and worries about the impact
on his children
and his wife's eventual remorse about
her role in destroying the marriage!
Here, Islam provides solutions:
"... So righteous women are devout,
preserving in secret that which"
Allah has guarded..."
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
This is the default
This is the typical Islamic marriage;
A respectable righteous wife
who guards herself and her home
in her husband's absence
But there are always exceptions:
"But those from whom
you fear arrogance,"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
Here there is arrogance
with dire consequences:
Rebellion, harm
and disregard for the family
What to do?
"advise them"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
Did you see how Peter advised Julie?
So the husband advises his wife;
reminding her of Allah’s right
and the effects of her defiance
on everyone,
"[If they persist], forsake them
in bed" (Quran Translated Meaning 34:4)
No intimacy to avoid her nagging,
circumvent arguments, and
withhold affection
If all this fails, then what?
"And finally hit them"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
Hit in vengeance and anger?
No! This is unanimously forbidden!
Even hitting has its rules, manners,
grace and pleasantness;
just like divorce!
Did you not hear your Prophet's words
Peace & Blessings upon him?
"Verily Allah has prescribed grace
for everything." (Muslim)
Grace in all things
even hitting; as a last resort
Did you not hear your Prophet saying,
"Gentleness in anything
adds to its beauty,
and if withdrawn from anything;
it makes it defective." (Jami')?
Therefore, even this last-resort
hitting must be gentle
So, what is meant by
"kind, gentle, graceful hit"?
First: In the Prophet's life
you will find
dozens of examples of his gentleness
in the way he treated others
But you will never find Sunnah
on how to hit a wife, because he
Peace & Blessings upon him
as his wife Aisha said,
"Allah's Messenger
never struck anyone with his hand;
neither a woman nor a servant,
but only, when he had been
fighting in the cause of Allah."
(Ahmad)
However, he, Peace & Blessings
upon him, did set limits for hitting
which we are forbidden to violate
In contrast, the "cute"
Western husbands
—the real Peters—
and the Islam-abandoning Muslims
—the wifebeaters—
as soon as a dispute arises
rush to slap her face;
a degrading slap that rings in her ears
It is Islamically forbidden
to come near the face!
Our Prophet, Peace & Blessings
upon him said, "Do not slap
abuse or shun her (except
in the house)." (Ahmad)
The face is honored;
you do not want to dishonor her
but to put an end
to her wrongdoing
"Do not abuse her"
forbids from saying things like:
"May Allah make you ugly."
It is forbidden!
What if Allah's Messenger could see us
not only cursing our wives
but insulting and vilifying them?
All the more forbidden
Obviously!
What about insulting
her family and her entire clan
and other grave offenses;
of which Islam is innocent?
"hit" in the verse
doesn't mean beating
in a fit of temper,
but the discipline of a calm wise man
in control of his temper
whose ONLY aim is
to stop the wrongdoing
...and do not shun her except
in the house." (Ahmad)
meaning you are not permitted
to punish her by leaving the house
"But she insists on making
my life miserable!"
Regardless!!
There are other solutions
Forsaking her by leaving the house
will only alienate your wife
and widen the chasm between you
"Well, isn't a painful hitting
needed to discipline her?"
No! Never! Our Prophet
Peace & Blessings upon him, said,
"... Unless they commit clear
indecency. If they do that
then abandon their beds
and hit them lightly.
"If they obey, then you have no cause
against them." (Tirmidhi)
Thus, the face is not allowed!
Insults and curses are not allowed!
Causing pain is not allowed!
Hitting in a fit of temper
is not allowed!
What is left then?
The way Peter struck Julie
What is the point of hitting then;
if not for retaliation or vengeance?
The point is to bring her back
to her senses and stop her defiance
What if that goal is accomplished?
Is it permissible for the husband
to continue
even with a light slap on the wrist
like Peter's?
Of course not! Because the goal
has already been accomplished,
"... But if they obey you,
seek no means against them.
Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
Once the intended goal is accomplished
you are forbidden
from laying a hand on her!
Remember that Allah
is Exalted and Grand;
Able to avenge her
in this world or the Hereafter!
From that point
things should go back to kindness,
grace, companionship
and gentle gestures;
in the example of
the Messenger of Kindness,
Muhammad,
Peace & Blessings of Allah upon him
These are the guidelines found
in the Quran and the Sunnah
What about Muslim scholars
in previous centuries?
Did they have the same understanding?
I could have quoted you the rulings
of a minority of respected scholars
who essentially support
the absolute prohibition of hitting
or allowing it only in some social
environments, but not others
However, it is not our approach
to cherry-pick opinions
that align with people's whims;
as if we're hiding something
Instead, we refer to scholars
who represent the majority opinion;
scholars from respected schools
of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence)
Ibn Shas, from the Maliki Fiqh school
said in "Ikd Al-Jawahir",
"If he thinks that she is unlikely
to stop her arrogance
except by a frightening beating,
then punishing her is not allowed
in the first place.”
If only a beating that would
frighten her will work,
then it is prohibited for the husband
to punish his wife;
whether with a frightening beating;
or anything less
It is not for punishment or venting anger
but for disciplining the wrongdoer
If she won't be disciplined, there's no
point in hitting, and it is prohibited
What to do then?
There are other options:
"... Send an arbitrator from his people
and an arbitrator from her people"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:35)
or either party can initiate divorce
But hitting? No!
As long as Shari'a-sanctioned
hitting will not help
Ibn Arafah —from the Maliki school—
says in Al-Sharh Al-Kabir,
"If he knew for sure that
[forsaking her] would not help,
then he may hit her; only if the
benefit was certain; not if uncertain."
That is, hitting is permissible
only if he is sure it will help
This is the Maliki school opinion
As for the Hanbali school,
Al-Buhuti says in Kashf Al-Kina',
"It is recommended not to hit her,
to keep the affection."
So even if hitting her is justified;
it isn't recommended
As for the Shafi’i school, Ibn Hajar
Al-Haytami says in Tuhfat Al-Muhtaj,
"If he knows it will not be beneficial;
then it is prohibited."
Therefore, dear viewers,
we are talking about
a calm disciplinary measure
with one purpose only:
to correct the wrongdoing
and protect the family and
the relationship between the couple
Well, what if the wife not only
violates the husband's rights
but the rights of Allah Almighty as well?
Ibn Hani' asked
Imam Ahmad Ibn-Hanbal
about a man whose wife does not pray;
should he hit her?
Imam Ahmad responded,
"Yes, he should; but lightly, kindly,
and not severely;
in the hope that she returns."
This is when the husband wants his
wife to fulfill the rights of Allah,
in the most important
pillar of Islam: Prayer
Now, you may say,
"Peter and Julie!
Come on! Reality is not like that at all;
many husbands batter their wives!"
I would answer you
—for the umpteenth time—
"It is because many Muslims
fail to abide by their religion
not because Islam authorizes
such beatings."
You would say,
"But by legislating beating,
Islam has opened the door for abuse
of this legislation by husbands."
To that, I would respond,
"Beating women is widespread;
past and present;
in ancient and modern Ignorance;
in the West and the East;
in the most advanced and
the least advanced societies;
in appallingly high percentages
and the ugliest forms!
Islam prohibited hitting
as a default option,
limited it to emergency cases,
and changed its motives:
from revenge, retaliation,
aggression and bullying
to discipline for wrongdoing
and preservation of marriage
Islam also limited this discipline
to rebellious abusive wives
and established its ethics:
only a gentle hit;
like Peter and Julie."
"Well, why hit her in the first place?
Why not divorce her?"
Sure! Divorce is easy
if we devalue the family entity
as called for by modern Ignorance
that seeks to destroy
homes and families,
raise children according
to global values and
direct the fulfillment of desires
to illicit sex and perversion!
"Do you mean that the wife
should put up with abuse?
Even if her husband
ignores Islamic ethics?
Even if he slaps her, hurts her
and insults her and her family?
Should she give up her rights, and
live only for Heaven and the Hereafter?"
We tell you, my friend,
No, her rights will not be forgotten;
neither in this life
nor in the Afterlife
Islam provides solutions
to such situations
The issue is not left up
to (the piety of) the husband
Instead, if a husband abuses
his right to hit his wife
he is punished under the same Shari'a
Thus, abuse does not invalidate
the Shari'a ruling
which allows hitting
If a doctor harms his patients
we do not blame and forsake medicine
Instead, the doctor gets punished
for his negligence
and medicine retains its status
Ibn Hazm said in Al-Muhalla,
"It has been established that
if he assaults her with no right,
he is subject to retribution."
"Retribution"
means the husband gets beaten
just as he beat his wife!
Ahmad Al-Dardir, a Maliki scholar
said in Al-Sharh Al-Kabir,
"Severe beating is prohibited,
even if he knows that it alone
will stop her misconduct.
If he does beat her,
she gets divorce and retribution."
Who does this ruling benefit?
The disloyal, defiant and abusive wife!
Regardless, he is not permitted
to beat her severely
in order to discipline her
If he did, she may resort to the
Islamic Judiciary in the Muslim state
They will bring in the husband
for a beating in retribution
and she can get a divorce if she wishes
Now if he hits her; not severely
but without cause
What happens then?
Al-Dusuqi, from the Maliki school, says,
"If it is proven that he wronged her
the ruler should reprimand
then beat him,
if she does not want divorce
but only wants him reprimanded."
This means that the wife
goes to the judge
and says, "My husband
struck me unjustly."
If the judge investigates
and finds this to be true;
that her immature husband
was abusing his right of Qiwamah
(authority, responsibility & protection):
telling her, "As your husband
I have rights over you,"
while he doesn't know his rights,
her rights or his religion!
The judge asks the wife,
"Do you want to divorce him?"
if she says, "No, but I want him
punished for mistreating me,"
the judge reprimands him in this case,
orders him to be beaten
and says to him,
"Son, go and learn your religion
Know that a man who beats his wife
and bullies her as you did
is not a man."
What if a husband hits his wife
and each of them gives
a different account? Dasuqi says,
"If he hits her and she claims
abuse while he claims discipline
the judge rules in her favor
and punishes him for abuse."
Meaning, if the husband is proven
to have struck her
but says, "It was disciplinary hitting,"
while she says,
"No, it was abuse"
we believe the wife
and punish the husband
This opinion is controversial
Abdul-Salaam Sahnun
—Maliki school— says,
"In this case, the couple’s neighbors
should be asked.
If repeated abuse is proven,
he is reprimanded and imprisoned."
Badrul-Din A l-Ayni
from the Hanafi school says,
"If a woman complains
that her husband hits her,
he must house her next to good
neighbors who can vouch for her;
so that the judge can punish him
if he abuses his wife."
So special measures are taken
such as
changing residence;
to protect the wife's rights!
Likewise, the Maliki Muhammad
Ibn Jamal Al-Khurshi says,
"The woman whose husband
struck her painfully
can divorce herself from him
immediately;
as the Prophet,
Peace and Blessings upon him, says,
'Don't harm or reciprocate harm.'
(Malik)
After all this,
some mindless parrots might still say,
"Throughout Islamic history
Fiqh has favored men.
Thus, Fiqh must be reformed!"
Go, for Allah's sake
and ask any of them
if they have ever heard
the scholarly opinions we cited!
You will then realize how harmful
mindless parroting is
"But shouldn't marital issues
stay private though?
and shouldn't the Muslim state
stay out of marital issues?"
True! Privacy is the norm
and hitting should be the exception
Husbands should be wise;
fierce in defending religion
yet merciful with their wives
Also the norm
is: "appoint a mediator from his family
and another from hers."
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:35)
to resolve aggravated problems
as every family has wise mediators
The integrated Islamic system
handles all cases;
it does not allow one to wrong another
and doesn't leave the wife at the mercy
of a husband who doesn't fear Allah!
"Indeed, Allah orders justice and
good conduct and giving to relatives
and forbids immorality
and bad conduct
and oppression..."
(Quran Translated Meaning 16:90)
Oppression meaning abuse
"And the word of your Lord has
been fulfilled in truth and in justice."
(Quran Translated Meaning 6:115)
"But our countries
don't implement Shari'a.
Thus if a husband beats his wife,
her rights are lost!"
True!
100% true!
However, we must first fully understand
that it is not Islam that
wrongs her in this case;
but Ignorance: in our societies,
in the husbands' ignorance
of Shari'a's beauty and perfection, and
the ignorance of excluding
Shari'a from legislation
You must fully understand
that it is not Islam that beat you
The angry, painful, vengeful beating
and cursing is from the Ignorance
which Islam came to rescue you from!
From this Ignorance which you and
other women now suffer from
in the absence of Islam!
When you read,
"... Hit them"
(Quran Translated Meaning 4:34)
you may say to yourself,
"My husband gets to hit me?!
This man who gazes
at what's forbidden?
Who's over-friendly
with his female colleagues?
Who's kind and polite outside our home,
but violent and hot-tempered inside?
This husband, who, when our child
feels sick at night, says,
'I am tired.
You can drive him to hospital';
unconcerned about
my driving alone at night?
He gets to hit me?!!"
No, sister!
Not this kind of husband!
Not a husband who doesn't know that,
"... due to the wives is similar
to what is expected of them,
according to what is reasonable."
(QTM 2:228)
Not a husband who thinks
that masculinity is an advantage
in itself,
even without assuming
the responsibilities of Qiwamah!
When you read the verse,
put it in the right context and
understand it properly,
may Allah honor you
"Well, what does a woman do
nowadays if she is wronged?
Should she file a lawsuit?
Should she request intervention
from the international community?"
The answer is that Muslims
aren't living in states that fear Allah,
preserve human dignity,
or respect the family structure;
so requesting
outside intervention
is like jumping out of
the frying pan into the fire!
Therefore, I address you, the wife;
you, the husband
and you, the families:
Let's solve our problems ourselves
As in the episode:
"Why Address Women...?",
we are not here to explain the
Fiqh ruling for every case
but to realize the greatness
of our religion,
so we only seek solutions within it, and
strive to fully implement it in our lives
Islam is capable of solving problems
with justice, grace and balance
Some might say,
"Oh brother! All we get is theorizing!
Is any of this applicable?"
Great!
Let us see the actual application
when Islam was implemented
in reality
We have looked at the Quran,
the Sunnah,
and Fiqh rulings
Now, let us take a look
at history
During the reign of
the integrated Islamic system
was abusive beating
a widespread phenomenon?
Did the verses result in abused women
with depression and low self-esteem?
Who are these depressed women?
The nation’s teacher: our mother Aisha
Allah be pleased with her?
Or Safia Al-Shaibani
mother of Ahmad Ibn Hanbal?
Or Khadija Khatun,
mother of Muhammad the Conqueror?
Or the mothers of the soldiers
who trampled
the crowns of Khosrow and Caesar;
and freed people
from the worship of slaves
to the worship of the Lord of all?
The mothers who exemplify the saying:
"Behind every great man is a woman"
with their many other achievements;
which we will talk about later
if Allah Wills?
History books have documented
these past eras in detail
Did you read in any of them
about "the battered woman syndrome"?!
Well, if this is the position
of the Quran, Sunnah, Fiqh and history
where did the abusive Muslim husband
stereotype come from?
It came from years of brainwashing
through movies that portray the
"haj" figure who beats his wife
and tells her, "I will force you
through Shari'a-sanctioned obedience
Allah says, '...'
The Prophet says, '...'"
This same so-called "haj" whose children
later find in a nightclub with a dancer!
It comes from wrong practices
by some Muslims
As the saying goes,
"An ignoramus harms himself more
than his foes could ever hope to."
It comes from videos that enemies
of humanity produce day and night
to distort Islam
Do you know where I got the image
of the wifebeater beating his wife?
From a popular YouTube video
sponsored by European institutions
The clip encourages the Muslim girl
who is sexually attracted to women
to rebel against her Muslim family
and reach out to officials who
will protect her from her "evil" father
and allow her to live safely
with her lesbian girlfriend!
In Western societies
we see many women
suffering from emotional issues
resulting from male abuse,
oppression, rape
and sexual harassment
They resorted to feminism,
homosexuality and male-hatred
They want to pass on their psychological
issues to you: the Muslim girl
and alienate you from your religion
Some women are still unconvinced
They say, "Even if the woman
is arrogant and rebellious;
even if the husband is wise and sane;
even if ethics, gentleness,
and grace are used;
even if there is a Muslim state
that punishes the unjust husband;
and even if women in Islamic history
were treasured and honored,
I object!"
Object to what?
"A husband has no right
to hit his wife;
it is unfair to women."
I see!
So the verse upsets you
Maybe you consider yourself of those
"whose arrogance is to be feared"
As if you are saying,
"No! I want to rebel
and destroy my family;
and no one should stop me!"
Just like the one who says,
"I want to steal and drink
so I am against Shari'a
which would punish me for it."
He who is guilty has much to say!
Can't you see that you are still
under the influence of stereotypes
and psychological issues?
or that you are somehow
deifying yourself?
The self-deification which we discussed
in the last episode:
"The Superwoman"
"No! A woman
must never be struck, punished,
or touched; no matter what she does."
So she is a goddess!
Never accountable for her actions!
This self-deified woman is the
very same one who was captivated
and teary-eyed
by Peter and Julie's scene
She may have even wished
to be in Julie's place so that
the handsome Peter
can shake her by the shoulders
and tell her,
"That's enough, Julie!
Stop. Please!"
Maybe she wouldn't have minded
if Peter were to slap her!
After all, a slap from a beloved
is sweet to the heart!
Some may have become upset
when I cut off Peter and Julie's
romantic scene;
they did not care much
whether Peter and Julie's relationship
was Islamically lawful or not
On the contrary!
Because their perception of marriage
has become distorted
they are more likely to sympathize with
two lovers than a married couple
Be careful, guys!
Be careful, girls!
Illicit affairs
are nasty, terrible and ugly;
embellished falsely
by extraneous factors:
demonic bait such as
the allure of the actor and actress,
makeup and romantic music
But illicit sex itself is dirty and ugly!
Even if you are not as alluring
you can still make your life
beautiful and sweet;
filled with grace
and permissible romance;
if you follow the guidance of your
Prophet Peace & Blessings upon him
The real Peter and Julie, dear viewers
do not end their disputes
with a light shake
or a warm embrace like the movies
The real endings
are what we discussed in the episode
"Liberation of the Western Woman"
as reported in Western official statistics
It is when Julie loses her beauty
or gets pregnant
by Peter, from their affair
after she stops taking birth control pills
because she wants a baby;
while he only wants sexual pleasure
and does not want any responsibility
Or when Peter finds out
that she has been cheating on him
Or when Peter is drunk,
stoned or high on drugs
Then, he does not lightly
and calmly shake her
but punches and kicks her:
A "romantic" punch
that Hollywood does not tell you about!
We know from official statistics
that one in four women
experience severe violence
from an intimate partner
Consider the other women
who are slapped repeatedly;
insulted and humiliated;
but not severely enough
to be added to the statistic
—of one in four women—
How much would they increase
the percentage of abused women?
Most women in the West are exposed
to disrespect and humiliation
Now, let us show you some examples
of what happens
outside the studios of Hollywood
Let us show you the second scene;
the unpublished part of the love story!
See examples of what happens
to millions of women
from the West's official statistics
This is Abbie
whose boyfriend smashed the TV screen
on the back of her head
and repeatedly pummeled her face
This is Jade
whose boyfriend punched her,
dragged her down the street,
and continued to beat her;
while under the influence
of alcohol and cocaine
This is Melissa from the
University of South Florida, USA
She was with her boyfriend
when, after too many
shots of whiskey
he started beating her,
threw her to the ground,
kicked her with his legs,
dragged her by the hair
around the room;
battering her face with a glass bottle
and leaving her
with a gaping head wound!
This is Megan from Ohio, USA
who was drinking alcohol
with her boyfriend
at a 2019 New Year's Eve party
when he hit her
When she kicked him back
he beat her repeatedly
until she passed out
This is Brittany
who was beaten
after an altercation with a man
—I mean a "male", not a "man"—
at a nightclub in Australia
This is Kerry, from the UK
who was beaten by her husband;
3 days after giving birth to their baby
when she was at her weakest!
This is Carleigh from Indianapolis, USA
Her boyfriend beat her up,
fractured her skull,
fiercely bit her,
and tried to pull her tongue out
after an argument
This is Angela from Tennessee, USA
who was beaten by her boyfriend
because she dared to ask for a breakup
after a six-month relationship
These are just a few examples
of the millions of tragedies
that happen every year
The sister whom I asked
to research such examples
and write a summary about them
told me, "I was barely able
to research these few cases.
I couldn't look at any more
horrible pictures."
By the way,
almost all of these women and girls
have romantic photos online
with these same boyfriends;
before their beatings!
Movies and music clips
show you the first part of the story,
but do not show you the rest:
The violence that targets the face
to degrade and humiliate
The violence that breaks
bones and teeth, wounds,
and kills; to the extent that people
marched to protest it in Europe
What do you think happens
in the ghettos
where poverty and hardship prevails?
After the episode,
"Liberation of the Western Woman"
a brother commented that while
walking down a street in Germany
he saw a man slap a random woman
then continue on his way
The brother asked his friend,
"How could he do that?"
His friend replied,
"Didn't she ask for equality with men?
Let her defend herself.
No one will defend her."
By the time she goes
to the police and they find him
her rights would have been lost
In contrast, the society of the Prophet
and the virtuous generations
that came after him
were built on
"So righteous women are devout"
and "And live with them in kindness
and, "No woman can fulfill her duty
to Allah until she fulfills her duty
to her husband." (Ibn Maja)
and, "The best of you is the one
who is best to his wife" (Al-Tabari)
A fair discourse for all!
What was the outcome?
Domestic violence
and battered women?
Have you heard or read in history books
—which document that era in detail—
about women who got
their bones or teeth broken?
Or who became handicapped?
like the tragedies which
happen in the world
of those who insult our religion;
while claiming that they want
to save women from Islam!
Now that we know
the beauty of our religion and
how oblivious we have been to it;
and we know how much women suffer
from the modern Ignorance in the West
and the partial Ignorance
in Muslim societies;
it is time to learn our religion
It is time to raise awareness
of these issues in our nation
so that whenever a woman is abused
we are the first to provide justice
and claim her rights
in the name of Islam!
We should not let those morbid crows
falsely accuse Islam
and demand the elimination
of what is left of it
Our religion is great and beautiful;
we just need to understand it
O honored woman:
you whom Allah has honored with Islam
go and read your Lord's Book
and trust His Wisdom,
Justice and Mercy
Peace be upon you