A Moving Message That Revives Hope in Marriage and Family
Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah, dear ones.
I received a message from one of the sisters and I wanted to share it with you for its benefit. The message is appropriate because the sister had sent me a message years ago asking me about a young man I know who proposed to her. I mentioned to her what I knew about this young man, whom I had only seen good from. Recently, she sent me a message thanking me for encouraging her to accept him as a husband.
The sister asked permission to send her message to her husband to please him, and I granted it. I also asked them for permission to publish the message publicly while hiding the names to preserve privacy, and they granted it.
Why am I sharing this message with you?
Why am I sharing the message? For more than one reason, really:
Spreading Good Examples
First, because we are in dire need of spreading good examples in our Muslim communities. What usually surfaces are family problems and disputes between spouses, and the media focuses on these examples. The result is that many young men and women are deterred from the principle of marriage and the family institution is tarnished in their eyes.
Cinema, TV series, and the internet highlight these examples, while do we see, in contrast, talk about a stable, harmonious, compassionate family and loving spouses? Very rarely do we hear about them, even though these families exist.
Qualities of the Suitable Husband
The second reason for sharing this message with you is so that girls know the qualities of the suitable husband who truly brings them happiness and peace of mind, who honors and protects them in this world where materialism and comparisons of dirhams and dinars prevail. The qualities that the sister mentioned about her husband are wonderful, increasing my love and respect for him, so I also want our youth to possess them.
My Happiness with the Message
The third reason for reading the sister's message is that I am happy with it.
The Sister's Message
She says: "Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. In the name of Allah, the beginning of all good, in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, is safety and good news. May Allah bless you, Dr. Iyad.
This is a message I write after years have passed since I consulted you and you vouched for my husband, saying that you take responsibility for your vouching and that no one vouches for anyone but Allah. Out of the principle that whoever does not thank people does not thank Allah, and out of returning the favor to its rightful owner, this is a message of thanks and an update on the blessing.
Just as I asked you for advice hesitantly and fearfully, I wanted this message of thanks and reassurance to be, even if delayed. I bear witness to Allah that I have not seen from my husband except good. Before asking you about him, I prayed two rak'ahs of istikhara and sought refuge in Allah that Allah would grant me my wish of what I wanted to know about him in terms of his qualities, and I did not know how anyone could inform me of them. But then your answer came, which was exactly what I wanted to ask about in detail and an answer to everything in my heart. I ask Allah to record for you the consequences of your vouching.
I have not seen from my husband except good, modesty, nobility, protection, gentleness, and high character. He supports me in every step I take for good, a towering mountain under which I seek shade and upon which I rely. He does not belittle me, does not wrong me, does not insult me. If he sees good, he praises it. If he sees a mistake, he corrects it. If he sees a fault, he overlooks it. He is good company, has a kind tongue. And the most important and central thing is that I consider him to be standing by the Book of Allah.
I have seen him as a kind, supportive husband on all doors of good and provision from scientific programs, broad-chested, quick to forgive, and a loving, firm father in what I consider. And the Prophet, peace be upon him, made the place of goodness in him who is the best of people to his family, and I bear witness to Allah that my husband is the best of people to his family.
And I strive to update the blessing of Allah upon me in my husband, and the pride in my obedience to his command, respecting him, and seeking his permission in all my affairs.
By the way, the sister's husband informed me that she had asked his permission to send this message to me, a message of thanks only for being the cause of bringing them together, and he did not know the details that she would praise him in this way. But the point is that she asked his permission to correspond with a foreign man to her, and this is the original, dear ones, even if there is a reason, this is the original.
We continue the sister's message, which says: "And I strive to update the blessing of Allah upon me in my husband, and the pride in my obedience to his command, respecting him, and seeking his permission in all my affairs. And I say in front of many of my friends that Allah has honored me with the greatest blessing after Islam, which is the blessing of my supportive husband in the obedience of Allah. And I used to be in darkness in religion before him, and I used to pray to Allah always that Allah would grant me a man who loves Allah and His Messenger sincerely and whom Allah and His Messenger love, and I consider that Allah has granted me my request. And I ask Him, glorified and exalted be He, and with His praise, to prolong the guardianship of my husband over me, to prolong the guardianship of my husband over me until He gathers us, glorified and exalted be He, in the shade of His Throne on a day when there is no shade but His.
And I explain its effects on the girl, especially in front of those who have felt in them feminist tendencies and turning away from marriage and distorting the image of guardianship and belittling the status of marriage and building the family, and I ask Allah for guidance for me and for them.
And she said: As I have talked more about this blessing and explained its effect on the girl, especially in front of those who have felt in them feminist tendencies and turning away from marriage and distorting the image of guardianship and belittling the status of the husband and building the family, and I ask Allah for guidance for me and for them.
This testimony is to Allah first, and perhaps it is a return of the favor to its rightful owners, and that you were a cause of good in building that family whose goal and call is: 'Our Lord, and make us Muslims to You and from our offspring a Muslim nation to You, and show us our rites and turn to us; indeed, You are the Accepting of Repentance, the Merciful.' [Al-Baqarah: 128]. And I ask Allah to complete the blessing with the completeness of the response to the call and to record for you the reward. Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah."
Conclusion and Reflections
By the way, dear ones, the mentioned brother is one of those who carries the concerns of the nation, follows its news, and yearns for its victory. However, he is also possessed of the qualities you have heard from the noble sister. And this is a beautiful model to be emulated, that living for the concerns of your nation and striving for its victory should not prevent you from surrounding your family with affection, gentleness, and honor. In such cradles, balanced souls are raised, upon whom, by the permission of Allah, the nation relies to save it from its condition.
May Allah, glorified and exalted be He, honor these two spouses and prolong for them comfort, peace, tranquility, love, and mercy, and may He make that a year in the homes of the Muslims. Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah.