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This content has been automatically translated. View original in Arabic
Peace be upon you, and God’s mercy and blessings. A few days ago, I met a young man who told me about his story of repentance from pornography. It was deeply moving, and what made it even more beautiful was that he was speaking to me while crying. The young man—may God preserve him—radiated what we perceived as faith, tranquility, and reassurance.
I said to him, “You must write this story down so we can share it with our brothers and sisters.” He did write the story, and I asked him about some details he mentioned. Eventually, this is the story you are about to hear—one filled with lessons and deeply moving. What I will do now is walk you through the story, sharing what the young man told me, and then we will return to extract the lessons and reflections from its passages.
The young man says: “My upbringing began in a family that genuinely loved religion, but there was a huge gap between what was preached and what was practiced in matters of faith. As a result, when I started growing up, I began to disregard the religious commands my father would teach us. My father would tell us, ‘Do good and set things right,’ and speak about what religion requires, but he himself was lax in some rulings. When we grew older, we followed his example and became lax in matters of religion.”
He continued: “Despite this turmoil in my upbringing, my father—may God forgive him and reward him well for us—instilled in us the value of honesty. I remember a hadith the Prophet peace be upon him used to repeat to us, narrated by Ibn Mas’ud may God be pleased with him, in which the Messenger of God peace be upon him said:
‘Adhere to honesty, for honesty leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be honest and strives to be honest until he is recorded with God as a truthful person. And beware of lying, for lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire. A man continues to lie and strives to lie until he is recorded with God as a liar.’ (Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The meaning of honesty resonated in my mind and took root in my heart, by God’s grace.”
Our young man said: “Years passed, and we grew up. Our faith-based upbringing was weak, our companions were corrupt, social media and the internet were open to pornographic sites, and there was mixing in college, university, the streets, and workplaces. A young man at that age naturally has intense desires. So, what was the result? The result was what you, Dr. Iyad, described in your series The War on Fitrah: a state of sexual frenzy.”
He explained: “I was consumed by sexual frenzy. I would sleep and wake up with one thought: how do I satisfy my desire? With whom? How? It didn’t matter; the only thing that mattered was releasing the frenzy and desire I was in. The biggest gateway to desire was pornographic websites, which I gradually became addicted to. Over time, I realized they were dragging me toward desires I once found repulsive, yet I couldn’t stop. There was no restraint for my desire, nor a religious deterrent to stop me.”
He added: “To the point that I became accustomed to the usual pornographic scenes, so I started searching for what was even more obscene and vulgar—God forgive me and pardon me. I reached the point where I began to look at every woman around me with nothing but raw instinct, may God protect us. My soul became completely distorted, and I detached myself from my natural disposition. Yet, I still believed I had control over myself and could manage it.”
“Then, by God’s grace, bounty, generosity, forbearance, and mercy, He guided me to your series, Dr. Iyad, titled The War on Fitrah. When I was directed to it, I heard things that would make the hair of young children stand on end. What affected me most was the fourth episode, titled Shocking Truths: Trade in the Name of Children’s and Adolescents’ Rights, after which I realized I had been driven into the emotional state of sexual frenzy I was in.
I discovered that I had been living a great lie propagated by organizations claiming to advocate for human, women’s, and children’s rights—especially since I had worked with them in a medical center and wondered at some of what I saw. After watching the episode, I understood why. What broke my heart the most was realizing that, due to my unrestrained lust, which led me to consume pornography, I had become part of a system that trades in sex, human trafficking, drugs, and more. In other words, I was contributing to all these crimes! How? When I visited these pornographic sites, I was funding these people. My consumption of these clips was the reason these criminals expanded their operations and worked harder to bring in more women and people to traffic.
The more traffic these sites received, the more insatiable and tyrannical they became. I realized I was complicit in all of this. And for what? For a fleeting desire! I said to myself, ‘How many people have suffered because of me and people like me?’ For a moment, I imagined the children and women being trafficked for sex and pornography, and I nearly died from the agony.”
“Of course, the devil tried to convince me that it wasn’t that serious, that it was just a few clips, and that I was overreacting. But here, the value of honesty—by which I believe God saved me—came into play. I clearly told myself, ‘If I stay in this cycle of pornography, I am a criminal.’ I began trying to distance myself from anything that could push me toward pornography, with complete honesty.
The first thing that came to mind was social media. I honestly asked myself, ‘What do I actually gain from them? Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat…’ The devil started suggesting, ‘Don’t delete the apps; you might get a reminder of goodness, benefit from a reminder, maintain family ties, and comfort Muslims…’ Suddenly, the devil was guiding me toward good! But by God’s grace, I was blessed with honesty. I said, ‘I don’t want them,’ and I deleted them gradually. And by the One besides whom there is no god, Dr., it was from that moment that I truly began to live! I realized I had been enslaved. And that is the precise description: enslaved to pornography, social media, and the thoughts of people like me. Worse still, I thought I was the one making decisions and had a personality and ideas.”
The young man says: “By God’s grace, He honored me, strengthened me, and saved me from all this misguidance. I repented from pornography and left social media, but there were still many bad habits I hadn’t abandoned. Months after my repentance, I fell into a severe depression. People started distancing themselves from me, and even my employers asked me to look for a second job and leave, because I had become unbearable—always sad, with nothing to make me happy. Every day when I woke up, I would cry: ‘Why did I wake up?’ Life had lost all meaning in my eyes, and I began thinking about ending my suffering through suicide.
I said to myself, ‘Give yourself a chance and go to a psychiatrist.’ Of course, I was praying, but in my own way—superficially—and I was smoking, sometimes using drugs if I had the chance. I would talk to Muslim girls without lowering my gaze, backbite, sever family ties, listen to songs, and engage in gossip. And I was surprised why I was depressed! Two verses kept echoing in my mind:
And We will surely let them taste the lesser punishment before the greater punishment, that perhaps they will return. (Surah As-Sajdah 32:21)
And We did not wrong them, but it was they who wronged themselves. (Surah Hud 11:101)
I was honest and convinced that the problem was me, but I didn’t know exactly what I needed to do.”
"You may wonder, Doctor, that throughout all this (confusion), I still maintained my reverence for Allah, and this was instilled in us by my father. I would never accept hearing blasphemy. The depression persisted until one day, I was sitting, smoking, and advising a young man (whose face was darkened by worldly concerns) who was searching for work. I told him, 'Brother, why don’t you pray so that Allah may provide for you? Allah says:
And enjoin prayer upon your family [and yourself] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you. And the [best] outcome is for the righteous.' (Meaning: Pray, and Allah, the Exalted, will provide for you. The matter is clear."
"He (Ammar) was stunned and said, 'Insha’Allah.' About two weeks later, I saw him with a completely different face. He told me, 'Do you know what happened? Allah provided me with a small shop (a dukan), and more importantly, I started praying, all praise to Allah.' This was one of the best pieces of news I heard while at the peak of my despair. The amazing thing was that Ammar had a Quranic routine; he would recite Surah Taha and sent me the page containing the verse (And enjoin prayer upon your family), saying, 'This reminded me of you, and I made du’a for you.'"
"I read the Quranic page Ammar sent me while I was depressed and searching for a solution. Then I read, in the same section, the verses before it where Allah says:
So be patient over what they say and exalt [Allah] with praise of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before its setting; and during periods of the night [exalt Him], and at the ends of the day, that you may be satisfied. I said, 'Perhaps You will be pleased!' Ah… this was exactly what I was lacking. This was my problem—everything in my life was fine, but I wasn’t satisfied. The solution: SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi (Glory be to Allah and praise Him). Fine, I will keep saying it."
"It remained on my tongue, by Allah’s grace, for about a week or ten days. After that, I had a dream whose interpretation settled in my heart the moment I woke up: Allah has removed from you what you were suffering. By Allah, Doctor, I woke up the next day completely transformed—overflowing with happiness, joy, optimism, and vigor, all by Allah’s grace. I recovered from depression and began to clean up my life."
"But there was still weakness and sins. One night, I was scrolling through YouTube videos. I had already smoked half a pack and was feeling exhausted. Every now and then, I would say to myself, 'Now I should get up and pray Witr…' Then a short clip of you, Doctor, appeared. You were speaking about an opportunity you had to enjoy life in America, but the pain of the Muslims prevented you. You also mentioned the story of Kum al-Ramad (Pile of Ashes) in a mosque in Indonesia."
"Allah placed a great impact in my heart through this clip. I said to myself, 'All the suffering of the Muslims, and I cannot help them, nor can I even give up my sins so that Allah may accept me and look upon me and them with mercy? I started making du’a, crying, and crushing the cigarette with my fingers, saying, 'O Allah, I beg You—let me quit for Your sake, O Allah, grant victory to the Ummah. I cannot do anything, but this is what I must do—leave this sin so I can help in any way. I cried and said, 'O Allah, I am afraid I will go back. I beg You to make me steadfast, help me, and honor me. I cannot do it on my own, but You are capable of all things. O Allah, for Your sake, O Allah.'"
"That night with Allah the Exalted marked the beginning of joy. He honored me by completely freeing me from smoking and its effects, all by His grace. Then He honored me further—I began learning Quranic recitation. Then He honored me—I started praying the five daily prayers in the mosque. Then my beard grew. Then I fasted on Mondays and Thursdays. Then I found righteous companionship. Then I was blessed with a wife whom I believe to be righteous, pious, and God-fearing, who loves Allah and His Messenger. Allah granted me a daughter and a son, and I ask Allah to make them among the righteous reformers."
"By Allah’s grace and mercy, He made me a means of guiding my family, brothers, sisters, and many around me. By Allah, I live in a happiness that only Allah knows. Now, all praise to Allah, I wake up joyfully, thanking Allah for the outpouring of blessings, the greatest of which is guidance. I ask Allah, the Almighty, to keep us steadfast on His religion until we meet Him while He is pleased with us."
Some youth, upon becoming steadfast, begin to look at their parents with blame. But our brother, despite his father’s shortcomings and harshness, would say, 'May Allah forgive my father and reward him well for instilling honesty in us.' Steadfastness is not just about prayer and a beard; it is about a soft heart, good character, honoring parents, and showing mercy to those around you. Remember Allah’s words:
Thus were you before; then Allah conferred His favor upon you.
Do not use a father’s harshness or the contradictions of some religious people as an excuse to abandon your faith. The mistakes of others do not absolve you of your duty to Allah. Instead, you should be zealous for Allah’s religion against the poor representation of some people. Allah says:
Rather, man, against himself, will be a witness, even if he presents his excuses.
Parents should never underestimate the values they instill in their children. A single truthful word or reverence for Allah planted in a child’s heart may, years later, become the lifeline that brings them back to Allah, as was the case with the value of honesty in this story."
Leaving the phone and internet unrestricted in the hands of children is a waste of the trust placed in you. Do not say, 'I trust my upbringing.' The issue is not about trusting the children but about not trusting the deceivers who seek to corrupt them. Parenting is about protection, monitoring, dialogue, and setting boundaries. Do not give your child the key to temptation and then cry over it."
Pornography is not a vent; it is a fire that grows stronger the more you feed it. It drags a person into what they once despised, corrupts their natural disposition, and reduces their view of women to mere objects of desire. Whoever seeks chastity must not open the door to lust and then ask why they cannot close it."
Sometimes you perform an act for Allah’s sake without seeing its immediate impact, but Allah places your words in the heart of a person at a time you do not expect. The War on Fitrah series was the reason this young man was saved because, deep down, he loved the religion despite his lost state. Do not treat the sinner as if he necessarily hates the religion. Many youth have remnants of goodness within them, waiting for a word of guidance to illuminate their hearts."
When you open these sites, you are not just watching a screen; you are funding a filthy market built on human trafficking, exploitation of women, and abuse of children. One of the greatest aids to repentance is realizing that by watching, you become part of a global system of injustice and crime. Repentance here means exiting this criminal system."
Satan tries to downplay sin by saying, 'It’s just a few clips; don’t make a big deal out of it.' But honesty means facing yourself and admitting, 'I am a criminal if I remain in this cycle.' The beginning of salvation is to name the sin for what it is and not cloak it in excuses. Allah says:
And others have acknowledged their sins. They mixed a righteous deed with another evil. Perhaps Allah will turn unto them in mercy.
Do not deceive yourself with the perceived benefits of social media (sermons, maintaining family ties) if it is the greatest gateway to your sin. If something is clearly a gateway to temptation, remove it immediately. Repelling harm takes precedence over seeking benefit. You can return to these means later once you have grown stronger and set clear boundaries."
Repentance is not mere words but a decisive resolution to cut off the path that leads you back to sin. Remember the man who killed a hundred souls, whom the scholar commanded to leave his land because it was "a land of evil." Whoever is sincere in repentance severs all ties with sin—whether through action, intention, or bad company.
Freedom is not doing whatever you wish, but rather not allowing sin to drag you whenever it pleases. Our companion discovered he was enslaved to his desires and screens, and he did not taste the sweetness of life until he was freed from the slavery of whims and entered the vastness of servitude to God. God the Exalted says:
Is he who was dead and We gave him life and made for him a light by which he walks among the people like one who is in darkness, never to emerge from it? Thus it is made pleasing to the disbelievers what they were doing.
Leaving sin does not mean its effects vanish immediately—you may face sadness, distress, or “withdrawal symptoms.” This is a test of your sincerity: do you want God, or do you want comfort only? When you cross the sea and reach the shore of repentance, burn your ships behind you and never look back. God tests you to purify you.
When hardship befalls you, do not say, “Why, O Lord?” Instead, examine your shortcomings. Our companion, when he fell into depression, did not blame fate. Instead, he acknowledged his neglect of prayer and his entanglement in sins. He realized that what befell him was from himself. God the Exalted says:
Whatever good befalls you is from God, and whatever ill befalls you is from yourself. And We have sent you as a messenger to mankind, and sufficient is God as a witness.
Do not let Satan tell you, “You are a hypocrite because you revere God in some situations and neglect it in others.” The reverence for God that remains in your heart—such as rejecting listening to disbelief or honoring the mosques—is the rope that may pull you from drowning. Do not abandon everything under the pretext of “it’s all ruined, it’s all ruined.” Instead, build upon the good within you.
Do not say, “I am not worthy to give advice.” Our companion advised Ammar while he was still smoking, and his advice was the reason for Ammar’s guidance. Then Ammar became the means through which a verse was revealed that was the key to relief for our companion. A good word is like a good tree—it yields its fruit, even if after a time.
The greatest moments of repentance are when you renounce your own power and strength and turn to the King of kings. Our companion’s words—“O Lord, I cannot, You are capable of all things, for the sake of God, O Lord”—are the station of desperation that deserves an answer:
Who responds to the desperate when he calls, and removes evil...
O you who have followed this story, you have been guided here to be a means of your own guidance. So what will you do? Do not be deceived by God’s delay in punishing you, and do not think your heart is in your hand, guaranteeing repentance whenever you wish. God the Exalted says:
And know that God intervenes between a person and their heart, and that to Him you will be gathered.
Return now before the price becomes too heavy, for a good life awaits you. O God, guide everyone who has heard us, purify our sight, preserve our innate nature, and cause us to meet You while You are pleased with us.
All praise is for God, Lord of the worlds.