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Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
From the wisdom and mercy of Allah the Almighty, He did not command the Muslim to uproot natural emotions from his heart, but rather He refined and regulated them with the love of Allah and His Messenger, and obedience to Allah and His Messenger. We explained in the previous episode that Islam does not hold you accountable for loving a disbelieving relative from the aspect of kinship, as well as a polytheist wife, and your natural love for a disbeliever who is kind to you. However, Islam demands that you regulate your behavior so that this love does not drive you to disobey Allah the Almighty.
Understanding this is important because some people, when addressed with the Islamic commands regarding dealing with non-Muslims and avoiding flattery at the expense of religion, become disillusioned. They assume that Islam does not appreciate the goodness of their heart and their being kind and loving towards everyone. We say: Rather, Islam appreciates all of this, but it asks you not to let any of this interfere with the love of Allah. Rather, the love of Allah and His Messenger should prevail over all other loves.
There are corrupt loves that Islam frees you from, such as loving the disbeliever for his disbelief or the sinful Muslim for his disobedience. There are also loves that Islam does not seek to uproot, but it prevents you from letting them lead you to what contradicts the love of Allah and His glorification.
Ibn Taymiyyah said: "A person does not abandon a beloved except for another beloved that is more beloved to him, or out of fear of something disliked. The corrupt love is only turned away from the heart by the righteous love or the fear of harm."
With this, you understand the saying of Allah the Almighty: "Say, 'If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah comes with His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.'" (At-Tawbah: 24).
A verse that warns against disobeying Allah and His Messenger out of any love, even if it is for the closest of relatives, whether Muslim or non-Muslim. If you ask: How do I know if I have achieved the required measure of love for Allah and His Messenger? How do I know, on the other hand, if the things mentioned in the verse are more beloved to me than Allah and His Messenger? The answer is: Look if, out of love for any of these things, you fall short in obeying Allah the Almighty.
Come, esteemed ones, let us see today examples from the biographies of the prophets, peace be upon them, and the companions, may Allah be pleased with them, how Islam took into account their emotions and did not uproot them, but regulated them so that they responded and regulated their natural loves and emotions with the love of Allah the Almighty and His obedience.
Noah, peace be upon him, calls his son to board the Ark of Salvation, but he refuses. Noah is filled with pity for his son and says: {O my Lord, indeed, my son is of my family; and indeed, Your promise is true, and You are the most just of judges} [Hud: 45]. God Almighty did not blame Noah for his pity for his son, but He forbade him from asking Him to save him. He said: {O Noah, indeed, he is not of your family; indeed, he is [a man] of evil conduct, so do not ask Me of that about which you have no knowledge. Indeed, I advise you, lest you be among the ignorant} [Hud: 46]. Noah, peace be upon him, immediately responded and said: {My Lord, indeed, I seek refuge in You lest I ask You that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have mercy upon me, I will be among the losers} [Hud: 47].
Abraham, peace be upon him, was keen on guiding his father and promised to seek forgiveness for him. When it became clear to him that his father was an enemy of God, he disowned him. {Indeed, Abraham was compassionate and patient} [At-Tawbah: 114].
God did not blame the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, for his love for his uncle Abu Talib, who had raised him as a child and defended him as an adult. However, God forbade him from seeking forgiveness for him as long as he died a polytheist, and He forbade the believers from seeking forgiveness for those who died polytheists among their relatives. {It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire} [At-Tawbah: 113]. Thus, the Prophet, peace be upon him, adhered to the command of his Lord and did not seek forgiveness for his uncle, and so did the believers.
This episode is a message to those who insist on seeking forgiveness for deceased polytheists and asking God for mercy for them, claiming that one of them was a great inventor or a scientist with a scientific footprint, or a philanthropist. They even show mercy to every atheist who promotes disbelief and deviance, or to a writer who has attacked the religion of God Almighty. This means that even the natural motives of love are not present in them, but despite this, they show mercy to him and her, and hope for their salvation from the Fire out of mercy. However, the Prophet was forbidden from seeking forgiveness for him, so it ended, while these people show mercy and seek forgiveness for those who have nothing of the qualities of Abu Talib.
Marthad al-Ghanawi, may God be pleased with him, loved a woman named Anaaq in the pre-Islamic period, and she loved him back. She was his friend. Marthad became a Muslim, but Anaaq did not. Her love remained in his heart. So he went to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, should I marry Anaaq?" meaning, should I marry her? And he repeated the question: "O Messenger of Allah, should I marry Anaaq?" Did the Prophet say to him, "How do you allow yourself to love her?" No, the Prophet, peace be upon him, did not blame him for this love that he found in himself, but rather he remained silent about it, and the Prophet, peace be upon him, did not say anything to Marthad until the verse was revealed: {The fornicator does not marry except a fornicatress or a polytheist, and none marries [a fornicatress] except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers} [An-Nur: 3]. So the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, "O Marthad, the fornicator does not marry except a fornicatress or a polytheist, and the fornicatress is not married except to a fornicator or a polytheist, so do not marry her." Marthad obeyed his Lord and did not marry her.
Abdullah ibn Abi ibn Salul was the leader of the hypocrites, and he had a believing son named Abdullah ibn Abdullah ibn Abi. One day, his hypocrite father spoke ill of the Prophet, peace be upon him, so he said to the believing son, "O Messenger of Allah, by the One who honored you, if you wish, I will bring you his head." The Prophet said, "No, but be good to your father and treat him well." The hadith is classified as good by Al-Albani, and there is another witness.
Ibn Ishaq narrates in the biography of Asim ibn Umar ibn Qatadah, who was one of the followers, meaning the narration is weak but it is acceptable in the biography, that the believing son Abdullah came to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, and said - and listen carefully, noble ones, to what he said, for it contains a great lesson - he said, "O Messenger of Allah, it has reached me that you want to kill Abdullah ibn Abi - meaning his father - based on what has reached you about him. If you must act, then command me, for I will bring you his head. By Allah, the Khazraj knew that they had no man who was more dutiful to his father than me, and I fear that you will command someone else to kill him, so do not let me see the killer of Abdullah ibn Abi walking among the people, so that I kill him, and thus I kill a believer with a disbeliever and enter the Fire." The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, "Rather, we will be kind to him and treat him well as long as he is with us."
The believing Abdullah fears that someone from the Muslims will kill his hypocrite father, so his natural affection and zeal for his father overcome him, and he kills the Muslim, thus failing in the test of prioritizing the love of Allah and obedience to Allah over his natural feelings towards his father.
Al-Salhi, may God have mercy on him, commenting on Abdullah ibn Abdullah ibn Abi's request to kill his father: "In this great knowledge and clear evidence from the signs of prophethood, the Arabs were the most zealous and tribalistic of all creation. So their faith and the light of certainty reached their hearts to the point that a man among them would desire to kill his father and son to draw near to Allah and seek closeness to His Messenger, even though the Prophet, peace be upon him, was the farthest from them in lineage - meaning the Ansar - and his people and his relatives did not hasten to believe in him until the farthest did, except for a great wisdom. For if his people and those closest to him had hastened to believe in him, it would have been said: A people wanted to boast about a man among them and were tribalistic for him. So when the farthest hastened to him and fought for his love, and out of fear of Allah Almighty, the trait that was ingrained in their hearts was removed - meaning it was attached to their hearts - a trait that was ingrained in their hearts from the morals of ignorance that no one could remove except the One who created the first nature."
Meaning, look at the wisdom of Allah when He decreed that the Prophet's relatives did not precede others in believing in him, but rather, those who were distant from him in lineage believed in him first. So much so that, due to their deep absorption of the true religion, their fear of Allah, their love for Him, and their love for His Messenger, they were prepared to kill those closest to them in lineage, such as their fathers and sons, out of love for the Prophet, peace be upon him, and faith in him. Even though they were, in the pre-Islamic period, the most tribalistic and boastful of their fathers. That trait did not leave their hearts except due to the great light of faith and its influence.
If one refrained from killing his father or his relative or his brother from among the people of shirk, I would not blame him for that, but rather I would love him for that. That is because the Prophet, peace be upon him, restrained Abu Hudhayfa ibn Utba from killing his father and Abu Bakr from killing his son on the day of Uhud. So our Prophet, peace be upon him, would forbid his companions from killing their fathers or sons from among the fighting polytheists or the fighting hypocrites.
We mention this because some people, when they hear for example that Abu Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrah, may Allah be pleased with him, killed his father on the day of Badr, think that Islam requires you to remove any natural feelings towards your closest infidel relatives. Firstly, the narrative that Abu Ubaydah killed his father is not established with a sound chain of transmission. Al-Bayhaqi said in the small Sunan: "We have narrated from Abu Ubaydah that he avoided his father on the day of Badr while he was setting up his weapon for him. When Abu Ubaydah frequently targeted him, he killed him. So Allah, the Exalted, revealed: {You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons} [Al-Mujadila: 22]."
So, according to this narrative, it is not that Abu Ubaydah intentionally killed his father specifically to draw closer to Allah, but rather he was avoiding killing him and his father was pursuing him until he was forced to kill him, with the reminder that the narrative is weak and it is not established that he killed his father. This further confirms that Islam does not require you to uproot your natural feelings, nor to do what contradicts them without a legitimate Islamic interest, but rather Islam requires you not to disobey Allah because of them.
On the other hand, one of the great aspects of Islam is that it regulates even hatred in Allah with the love of Allah and obedience to Him, so that it regulates your behavior and you are just even with the disbelievers, and you do not take their disbelief as an excuse to oppress them.
Allah, the Exalted, said: {O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness} [Al-Ma'idah: 8]. Meaning, be upright with the truth, witnesses of justice for your friends and your enemies. Just as you witness for your friend, so witness for your enemy if he is with the truth even if he is a disbeliever, for justice must be done to him. {And let not the enmity of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is ever Acquainted with what you do} [Al-Ma'idah: 8]. How great is our religion, and praise be to Allah!
Its fruits are among the Muslims and between them. The Prophet sent Abdullah ibn Rawahah to estimate the amount of dates of Khaybar to be divided. In another narration, the Jews tried to bribe Abdullah ibn Rawahah to take less dates for the Muslims. So ibn Rawahah said to them: "O gathering of Jews, you are the most hated of people to me, you killed the prophets of Allah and lied about Allah, but my hatred for you will not make me unjust towards you. I have specified twenty thousand sa' of dates, if you wish, they are yours, and if you refuse, so be it." The Jews said: "By this the heavens and the earth were established, we have taken it." Meaning, your division is just and by justice the heavens and the earth were established. So Abdullah ibn Rawahah regulated his hatred for the Jews and did not oppress them.
Banu Abi Riq were from the Ansar, and among them was a man named Bashir ibn Abi Riq who stole an armor from a man, then when he feared that he would be exposed, he threw the armor in a Jew's house to deflect the accusation from himself. Evidence of his theft appeared, so his people came to defend him. Then Allah revealed his deed and the Jew's innocence. And Allah, the Exalted, said: {And whoever commits a fault or a sin and throws it upon an innocent person, he has indeed burdened himself with slander and manifest sin} [An-Nisa': 112]. The innocent one in this verse is the Jew according to some narrations, and the Quran declared him innocent of the theft and exposed the matter of this appearance of Islam from Banu Abi Riq. So the disbelief of this Jew and his not being innocent of bad belief and false accusation against Allah does not mean that it is permissible to oppress him, for this is one matter and that is another, and it is not permissible to mix them together.
In the hadith narrated by Bukhari from Jabir ibn Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him, that he would borrow from a Jew on the condition that Jabir would give him dates from his palm tree when he harvested them. "Walk, let us ask the Jew for Jabir," meaning come let us ask the Jew to give Jabir a respite. The Prophet came and spoke to the Jew, and the Jew refused and said: "Abu al-Qasim, I will not give him respite, Abu al-Qasim, I will not give him respite," meaning he will not give Jabir a respite. The Prophet circled the palm trees and returned and spoke to the Jew a second and third time, and the Jew refused. Then the Prophet walked between some of the palm trees and blessed them, and they bore fruit, and Jabir cut from them what fulfilled the debt of the Jew and more.
This Jew was in the state of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and the Messenger of Allah personally went with his companions to ask this Jew for a respite for Jabir, and the Jew refused. And with that, the Messenger of Allah did not force him nor say to him: "O son of the killers of the prophets, how do you refuse the request of the ruler of the state?" The fact that this Jew is a Jew who hates because of the corruption of his religion did not deprive him of his right nor did it make the Messenger of Allah angry because he refused his intercession.
And then someone comes to you and says: "Mixing religion in dealings leads to the spread of hatred and to injustice and threatening the security of societies and the impossibility of coexistence." He equates the controlled, just, and true feelings that Islam achieves with the blind criminal hatreds that the Buddhists commit while burning Rohingya Muslims, and the Hindus while burning and torturing Muslims in India, and other examples around the world.
Bring me a religion that makes your love and obedience to your Creator the compass of your life and the glasses through which you see all things, so that you love and hate in it, and at the same time commands you with justice and truth even with those who disbelieve in Allah. From regulating hatred in Allah by obeying Allah, the Exalted, out of love and glorification of what Allah has commanded regarding the disbelieving parents who pressure their son in every way to associate partners with Allah. These two parents deserve to be hated in Allah. And yet Allah, the Exalted, says: {But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness} [Luqman: 15]. Your hatred for them in Allah does not allow you to mistreat them.
Notice in all of this that if you do not follow Allah's command in regulating hatred in Allah, then this hatred turns into passion, and you think it is hatred in Allah. If you oppress a disbeliever or treat him in a way other than what Allah has commanded you, then this is not because you are keen to respond to Allah's command, but because this hatred has turned into passion. You may hate a disbeliever not in Allah and not naturally because he harmed you, then this disbeliever becomes Muslim and Islam regulates your behavior with him, commanding you to support him and preventing you from opposing him, and at the same time, Islam does not require you to love him completely, but rather Islam takes into account your natural feelings.
Wahshi bin Harb killed Hamzah bin Abd al-Muttalib, the Prophet's (peace be upon him) uncle and one of the dearest people to him. Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was justified in hating Wahshi for his disbelief and for killing his uncle. Later, Wahshi came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a Muslim. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him, "Can you hide your face from me?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) was not required to rid himself of his natural aversion to Wahshi because he had killed his uncle, but he was commanded to accept him among the Muslims.
In all of this, you control your feelings, behavior, and reactions towards others according to what Allah the Almighty and His Messenger (peace be upon him) have commanded, because this other person is part of your test. Remember that the texts about dealing with disbelievers and polytheists are not emergency solutions, but Allah created you and created them and tested you with them so that you deal with each of them in a Sharia-compliant manner. "And We have made some of you a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seeing." (Al-Furqan 20). Part of this test is that you deal with each person according to what the Sharia commands regarding him, not merely according to natural emotional reactions. Allah sees your work: are you truly the most just and loving towards Him, making your obedience and love for Him the measure of your view, feeling, and dealing, and seeking His command in every situation?
The feelings that arise from you without choice are a whim, and Allah is more merciful than to command you to rid yourself of this whim, but He commands you to control it and not to follow it without guidance. He has tested you with this whim: "But as for him who feared the standing before his Lord and forbade the self its desires, then indeed, Paradise will be the refuge." (An-Naziat 40-41).
In conclusion, you may say: I find it difficult to prioritize religious feelings so that I control my actions according to them. I cannot control my heart, so what should I do? We will discuss this in the next episode, God willing, and talk about topics such as accompanying disbelievers, imitating them, and other things that affect feelings towards them. Follow us. Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah.