Episode 20 - Despairing, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid

Desperate, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid

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Shouldn't I seek help from others? Then, after days of this conversation, Ra'id said to Ziyad: Ah, Ziyad, I am anxious. About what? I have been in trouble for a while, and my patience is running out. I feel afraid of the future, I feel lonely and lost, I feel weak standing alone in front of this problem.

How strange you are, Ra'id! What is strange about the matter? Didn't you tell me about your relationship with the wealthy influential man ready to solve all your problems? Yes. Are you still in contact with him? Of course, he is my close friend and is waiting for me to ask.

Ziyad: Forgive me, Ra'id, you are contradictory. There is a mistake in your words, either your friend is weak and limited in abilities, or you claim his friendship as a boast and are not in contact with him at all.

The Contradiction of the Believer

Brother and sister, isn't Ziyad right? Isn't Ra'id contradictory in his claim? Before you blame Ra'id, beware, I fear that we are like him. Don't we declare that we believe in Allah and worship Him? We read in our prayer in one day: "It is You we worship" at least seventeen times, and we seek His help by reading: "And it is You we seek help from" seventeen times. We believe that Allah is with us and we rely on Him, so we say: "In the name of Allah, I rely on Allah," and we often repeat: "Allah is sufficient for me and the best disposer of affairs," and we repeat morning and evening: "We are pleased with Allah as a Lord," meaning the Creator, the Provider, the Manager of our affairs.

Do we mean what we say? Are we truly believers in Allah, submitting ourselves and our affairs to Him, worshiping Him, seeking His help, relying on Him, being pleased with Him, entrusting our affairs to Him, and seeking refuge in Him? Then Allah says: {And Allah is the Protector of the believers} [Al-Imran: 68], and He says: {So know that Allah is your Protector, how excellent is the Protector, and how excellent is the Helper} [Al-Anfal: 40], and He says: {And do not be weak and do not grieve, and you are the uppermost if you are believers} [Al-Imran: 139], and He says: {Is not Allah sufficient for His servant?} [Az-Zumar: 36], and He says: {And whoever relies upon Allah, then He is sufficient for him} [At-Talaq: 3], and He says: {And Allah is with you and will never deprive you of your deeds} [Muhammad: 35], and He says: {Indeed, Allah is with the patient} [Al-Baqarah: 153].

How can any of us allow ourselves to feel extreme fear when faced with a problem? How can we allow ourselves to feel lost, anxious, lonely, and alone in front of the problem? How can we allow ourselves to express these feelings in front of people? Where is our faith in Allah, our submission to Him, our seeking His help, our reliance on Him, and our feeling of His presence? Shouldn't we be ashamed before Allah after all this to complain about loneliness, loss, weakness, and anxiety about the future? Aren't we then contradictory with ourselves?

There is only one explanation for this contradiction out of three: Either our claim of faith, submission, reliance, and seeking help is false, even though we repeat it dozens of times a day, and in that case, we fear that we are like those whom Allah said about them: {They say with their tongues what is not in their hearts} [Al-Fath: 11]. Or we relied on Allah and He let us down, sought His help and He abandoned us, submitted our affairs to Him and He ruined us. The third explanation for the contradiction: this complainant who claims reliance is as if saying: Allah is not enough for me even though He is with me, but I feel lost, as if attributing weakness to His Lord, Allah is far above that. Which explanation do you choose, O the complaining reliant?

The Greatness of Allah and His Beautiful Names

My beloved in Allah, let us know the greatness of the Lord whom we worship and seek help from. He is the Great, the Mighty, the Dominant, the Strong, the Firm, the Compeller, the Controller, and He is capable of everything, so it is a defect to complain of weakness while He is with us. He is the Merciful, the Compassionate, the Loving, the Generous, the Grateful, the Gentle, the Forbearing, the Near, so it is a defect to complain of loneliness while He is with us. He is the Hearing, the Seeing, the Peace, the Responder to supplication, so it is a defect to complain of anxiety while He is with us. He is Allah, is not Allah sufficient for His servant? Yes, by Allah.

What is the benefit of our belief in the names and attributes of Allah if this belief does not calm our hearts and bind our hearts in trials and afflictions? Allah does not let down those who rely on Him, but we are the ones who may not do well in reliance.

Complaining to Allah Alone

Brother who is afflicted, do not complain to the people about Allah, I beg you, for there is none more merciful to you than Allah. Do not complain to the people about Allah, I beg you, lest the enemies gloat over us and say: Where is the help of your Lord that you claimed? As their predecessors said, which Allah narrated about them: {This religion has deceived them} [Al-Anfal: 49], so Allah replied to them: {And whoever relies upon Allah, then indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise} [Al-Anfal: 49].

Every time you want to complain about loss, fear of the future, despair, and running out of patience, imagine that an atheist is sitting beside you listening to what you say. What will he say to you if he hears your complaints? He will say: Didn't you advise me, O Muslim, to believe in the existence of a Lord who created us and provides for us, to worship Him and seek help from Him to feel tranquility and happiness? And to derive strength from Allah and happiness in the Hereafter. If people do not find these meanings in us, what will attract them to embrace Islam while they see you as if you are saying: The matter is with Allah, so I am now anxious, the matter is with Allah, so I am now anxious! Glory be to Allah.

A man who lived during the time of Shurayh the judge said: I heard Shurayh while I was complaining to a friend about some of the troubles that befell me, so he took me by the hand and drew me aside and said: O my nephew, beware of complaining to anyone other than Allah, for whoever you complain to will either be a friend who will be saddened, or an enemy who will gloat over you. Then he said: Look at this eye of mine - and he pointed to one of his eyes - by Allah, I have not seen with it a person or a road for fifteen years, and I have not told anyone about it except you at this hour. Have you not heard the saying of the righteous servant: {I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah} [Yusuf: 86]? So make Allah your complainant and your sorrowful one in every affliction that befalls you, for He is the noblest responsible and the nearest called upon. He ended his speech.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it happened that I disciplined my young son, but nevertheless, moments later, if guests came, he would come to me and put his hands on my knees to sit in my lap while looking anxiously at the guests, not crossing his mind, of course, to go to them and complain about me to them. This situation would evoke my pity and compassion for the little one, and I would feel how weak and in need of me he was.

When the Merciful tests you, seek refuge in Him alone. Do not complain about your weakness to anyone. Fall at the feet of Allah and ask Him to cover you with His mercy. Have good thoughts about your Lord, and then Allah will love you, have mercy on you, and be kind to you. My Lord is Merciful and Loving. Within these meanings, during a trial I went through, I composed a poem that had a great impact on my steadfastness by the grace of Allah. What is this poem? We will hear it next time, God willing. And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah.