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In the name of Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah. May peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you, and may Allah keep you well and greet you.
The episodes about women, by the grace of Allah the Almighty, have been well-received and have had a significant impact. Continuously, I hear stories about the influence of many brothers and sisters from these episodes, by the grace of Allah the Almighty. However, of course, disagreement is a human nature, and there is no exception, and some brothers have objected, especially more than anything, to the last episode, which is the episode related to authority under the title "I am free."
I noticed that some brothers have published objections, and many of them were in a kind and beautiful manner, saying: "Dr. Iyad, we have benefited from your series, and these episodes about women are useful, but..." and then they list some observations.
First of all, my brothers, I say something beautiful and kind and commend that there is advice, and that these brothers are defending what they truly see as right. It is beautiful and very important that there is no attachment to individuals, and it is beautiful that we differentiate and say: "By Allah, this speech is correct in which Iyad and this speech I see that Iyad has made a mistake in it." All of this is beautiful, and I encourage and urge it, but what I ask of the brothers is that this criticism be scientific. Therefore, in this live broadcast, we will not delay you, God willing, let us discuss the scientific nature of these objections.
Those who objected to what was said in the episode, after investigating the objections, these brothers object for one of three reasons:
Claiming Error or Following Unorthodox Views: Some consider that what I said in this episode is partly wrong or that I follow unorthodox views. Among them, some say: "Iyad brings the opinion of the later Maliki scholars on retaliation from a man who beats his wife unjustly, for example," or "Iyad in the authority episode sets conditions for authority, and these conditions, where did he get them from? There is no evidence for them." They assume that I am saying things without evidence or following unorthodox views among scholars.
Lack of Familiarity with Reality: Some others believe that I am not familiar with reality, saying: "Brother, women exaggerate in their oppression, and we should not focus on rare cases of men's oppression. These rare cases are exaggerated beyond necessity and given more importance than they deserve, and therefore we should not focus on them." They assume that I am not sufficiently aware of reality.
Misuse of Speech: Some others say that my speech will be misused: "Iyad, your speech may be correct, but it will be understood in the wrong way, and some women may disobey their husbands in what is known, leave the legal hijab, go wherever they want, and say you have limited me and you have no authority."
I would like to say, dear guests, that I take into consideration all these points, and those who say this do not know the extent of the effort exerted in these episodes.
I want my brothers and sisters to be reassured and know how the episodes are prepared, and I have been planning to talk about this for a long time, and perhaps I will bring a special episode to tell you how this episode is prepared so that you are reassured about its scientific nature and mastery. See, brothers, I do not say a word of these words in the series except after consultation in accordance with the command of Allah the Almighty: "And their affairs are conducted by mutual consultation." And I do not speak in scientific, legal, and doctrinal matters except after consulting His saying: "So ask the people of the reminder if you do not know."
Regarding my mistake, what I say to those who believe that I bring opinions from myself or unorthodox views, this last episode entitled "I am free" in which I consulted in the legal scientific field specifically only this aspect, I consulted four scholars, four scholars, and I read in researches such as a research entitled "The effect of non-provision in marital separation in comparative Islamic jurisprudence" and another research entitled "The nullifiers of authority: a comparative legal study," and I read a lot before speaking of what I spoke after consultation and asking the scholars.
Regarding the point of familiarity with reality, perhaps Iyad sees two cases of oppressed women, for example, or a man who misused authority or became general. No, my friends, one who is 44 years old has seen many cases, and I did not speak except after consulting a righteous brother who is a family consultant and has gone through thousands of cases, and a family doctor who has gone through hundreds of cases. These brothers are active and have gone through many cases. The family consultant separated me and told me: "Women, for example, after forty, forty-five, most or there are many cases of misuse of authority and lack of understanding of the boundaries of rights and duties. Before this age, young women and girls are actually in a state of feminism and more idolization than older or older women." For example, women in their sixties and seventies, in this generation, there was misuse of authority. After that, the feminist wave prevailed. Therefore, the matter is based, my friends, on studying reality, investigation, and many cases before we speak.
Regarding the impact of speech on hearts, some brothers say things that may be correct but have a negative effect on the heart and are misused. Listen, folks, I consulted at least six people for this episode, not scholars of Islamic law, and I don't make mistakes. I measure my words, word by word. It's easy to spread ideas and be done with it. It's easy to have a set of ideas and publish them and say peace be upon you. No, folks, I measure my words, word by word, so they are not misused and manipulated.
What Iyad says is sometimes right and sometimes wrong. Of course, I am human and not infallible, but what the poor servant publishes is not his personal opinion. There is scrutiny, review, and extensive consultations. After all this, there will inevitably be misunderstanding and misuse of the words. I address a large segment of people. On YouTube, nearly 200,000 people watch the episode, and on Facebook, hundreds of thousands. When you address hundreds of thousands, there will inevitably be those who misunderstand, who will misunderstand the Quran and the Sunnah, and those who will intentionally misuse the words and follow their desires. This is what they do with the Quran and the Sunnah. My words are not immune to this. I must be as precise and cautious as possible, consult, and seek guidance, but there will inevitably be misunderstanding and misuse.
To my brothers and sisters, whoever can present a well-structured, legally sound topic, with evidence and based on the sayings of scholars, and ensure that there will be no misuse, misinterpretation, or following of desires, I am ready to hand over the page and say to him: "Go ahead, complete the journey for me, complete the series for me." But, folks, in the end, there will inevitably be misinterpretation. I try as much as possible and feel pain when I see the misuse and manipulation of my words, but this is something that human work cannot avoid.
Some say, "Iyad, I know of divorce cases that resulted from your words, from that episode." Well, I know of cases and have heard of dozens, even hundreds of cases where families have stabilized and marital relationships have improved after these episodes. Therefore, in the last episode and the one before it, we conducted surveys, and by the permission of God, we will publish the results of these surveys. If my words indeed have a negative effect on the general public, then by God, there is something wrong, and I must reconsider again and again and again and say where is the flaw that made my words destructive. But thanks to God, this is not what happens, and you will see the results of the surveys as they are, by the permission of God the Almighty.
I want to say to the brothers who think I follow odd opinions: You do not know your religion, therefore you reject and deny what is part of your religion.
For example, regarding the last episode, the issue of the man's right to leadership is not disputed if he does not spend on his wife. His right to leadership falls. Notice, folks, my words are precise and measured, as I told you, by the centimeter and by the millimeter. I did not say the fall of my leadership. I said the fall of his right to leadership, meaning his leadership becomes conditional on the woman's acceptance and approval. His right falls if he does not spend on his wife the legal maintenance, not the maintenance of luxuries and he needs to get a car of the latest model. This issue is not disputed, not from Iyad's pocket nor from Iyad's ideas. The connection of leadership to spending is the text of the verse: "By what Allah has favored some of you over others and by what they spend from their wealth." The verse is clear, and I am not coming to renew the understanding of the Quran and the reading of the Quran in the manner of Shahrur or his likes. The scholars have agreed on its understanding. The dispute is not here, the dispute is in whom is unable to spend, a pandemic has struck him, an emergency has occurred. There is a dispute, and I have not elaborated on this aspect for reasons. But in whom intentionally does not spend and is deficient without justification, then the fall of his right to leadership is an issue that is not disputed.
Among those who spoke of this is Ibn Qayyim in Zad al-Ma'ad, who said: "What the principles of the Sharia and its rules require in this matter is that if a man deceives a woman that he is wealthy and marries her on that basis, then it turns out that he is poor and has nothing, or he was wealthy and left spending on his wife and she is unable to take her sustenance from his wealth by herself or through the judge, then she has the right to annul the contract, meaning she can annul the marriage contract."
Regarding the episode of beating, one of the brothers says: "Meaning he brings opinions from the later Malikis that the woman has the right to retaliate against her husband if he beats her without right and exceeds in beating her and it is no longer disciplinary beating as we discussed, it has become savage beating, he brings opinions from the later Malikis." No, my brother, let me tell you, you do not know your religion, forgive me.
For example, in Al-Insaf, one of the Hanbali scholars, it is said: "And Abu Talib narrated that there is no retaliation between a woman and her husband in disciplinary beating, but if he transgresses or injures or breaks, she has the right to retaliate against him." This is not from the later Malikis, this is from the Hanbalis. Al-Shafi'i said in Asna al-Matalib, and Al-Dardir the Maliki in the Great Commentary: "And it is not permissible to beat severely even if it is known that she will not leave disobedience except by it, if it happens to her, she has the right to divorce him and retaliation, and retaliation." Ibn Hazm in Al-Muhalla said: "It is clear that if he transgresses against her without right, then retaliation is upon him." I bring you the sayings of the Hanbalis, Shafi'is, Malikis, and Ibn Hazm the Zahiri. This is what I have come across and found, and God knows best if there are other sayings, there may be other many sayings. So do not think, my brother, that I bring odd opinions just to please our sisters the women, no, no, folks, forgive me, those who say this, you are the ones who do not know your religion.
I, my friends, it is not my methodology nor my approach to flatter anyone so that they may like Islam. It is not my methodology nor my approach to alter Islam so that people may be convinced. No, this is never my style. My firm conviction since childhood, and praise be to Allah, is something Allah has blessed me with. My firm conviction is that Islam is beautiful as it is, Islam is beautiful as Allah revealed it. It does not need politics, alterations, or modifications to suit people's whims. Rather, my only duty is to present Islam as it is and cleanse it of the impurities that have attached to it, and then say to people: "Do you like the religion of your Lord? May Allah bless you with the soundness of your innate nature. Did it not please you? Allah and His Messenger have spoken, then blame yourselves and know that your whims control you." This is my methodology, by the grace of Allah the Most High.
When my brothers spoke about the myth of evolution, many honorable brothers objected to me, not speaking about ordinary people who are not involved in Islamic work or the atheistic file, but brothers working in the atheistic file objected to me: "Yiad, do not talk about the myth of atheism and do not mock Richard Dawkins and ridicule them, in this way you will alienate those whom we can attract." I used to tell them: "I will not flatter in the religion of Allah and I will not say about a foolish myth and a joke that it has no value that it is a theory, and I will not speak about it as if it is something scientific that is subject to consideration and examination, but it is a myth and I will prove scientifically that it is a myth from the first episode, and I will not flatter in that." And those who will be alienated, by Allah, I value more that they are alienated, I value that they are alienated and I want them to come to Islam and I want them to be convinced of the invalidity of this myth, but I will not flatter for that and say about it a theory as if it is something respectable and say about those who adopt it that they are scientists but they are ignorant. And I used to emphasize, honorable people, I only say about it a myth and speak about it with the ridicule it deserves because it is ridiculous, I do not mock, it is ridiculous in itself, that with this I want to instill pride in the hearts of Muslims to know that there is science and there is false science, and false science is false and Allah seals it with the truth. My friends, I was not convinced that this is false, I will not flatter in it, and when I want to attract people to the truth that I see as truth, I will not trim in Islam and I will not bring strange opinions to attract them to what I see as truth, but I present Islam as I am convinced that Allah the Most High has revealed it after consultation and seeking counsel from the people of remembrance.
Therefore, dear respected audience, what many of the objecting brothers did regarding the episode "I am Free," which was about authority (al-Qawwamah), falls into one of four categories. We conclude with this speech. The brothers who objected either:
Responded to something I did not say (Straw Man Fallacy): You know what they call the Straw Man fallacy, where someone attacks and argues against a position that was not presented. Who are you responding to? To me, Iyad? Did Iyad say this statement? No, by Allah, he did not say this statement. The one who says that authority (al-Qawwamah) does not fall if he does not treat her well, how can you say it falls? Did I say that authority (al-Qawwamah) falls if he does not treat her well or mistreats her? Did I say that? I said if he does not spend on her while he is able, his right to authority (al-Qawwamah) falls. There is a difference between the two statements, by Allah, there is a difference. Whoever cannot distinguish between them should repeat the statement once, twice, three times, and ask a scholar to help him.
Some say: "Rather, the male is better than the female." Did I discuss this topic negatively or positively? I did not speak about the preference of the male over the female in general, but I said that Allah, the Almighty, has favored men over women in certain matters, rulings, tasks, creation, and characteristics, and has favored women over men in return with rulings, tasks, characteristics, creation, and so on. Now, the issue of absolute preference, this was discussed by Ibn Hazm and others, whether the man is preferred over the woman. This was not my topic, it was not my topic in the episode. Whoever understood that this was my topic, there is a problem in his understanding. I might excuse him for his haste, but he should not respond and wage war and discuss something I did not say at all.
Reiterated principles I mentioned and emphasized as if I said the opposite: So, first of all, some brothers discussed something I did not say, and the response was to someone else in their mind, not Iyad. Others reiterate principles I mentioned and emphasized as if I said the opposite. When someone says to me, for example, I published a paragraph, one paragraph from my speech: "Authority (al-Qawwamah) is not merely because of your biological maleness or because you carry the Y chromosome and the female carries the X chromosome, so you become entitled to authority (al-Qawwamah). O husband, if you are fulfilling her burdens, if you do not fulfill her burdens and do not spend on her, you are not entitled to it." Many respond and explain that no, authority (al-Qawwamah) does not transfer to the woman, and if the woman spends on her husband, this does not mean authority (al-Qawwamah) for her. We explained why. An episode of 35 minutes, and a paragraph was said in two minutes, you judged the entire episode based on it. Of course, go back to the entire episode, go back to the episode to know what Iyad said in that episode.
Some said: "How can authority (al-Qawwamah) not be because of the Y chromosome? Rather, authority (al-Qawwamah) is because of the Y chromosome." I say: "No, my brother, you are ignorant of your religion." Authority (al-Qawwamah) is not because of the Y chromosome, and my statement does not mean that the woman can bear authority (al-Qawwamah), but not merely because of your biological maleness are you entitled to authority (al-Qawwamah), but {because of what Allah has favored some of them with and because of what they spend of their wealth}. And by this, I intend to combat a false idea that some men adopt, that if he sits in his house and spends his money on his cigarette, and when he is told: "Go get us a loaf of bread, the world is cold, I do not want to go out," when the smoke is finished at midnight, he goes out, and he is not ready to fulfill the family's burdens, and yet he believes that because of the testosterone he has and the Y chromosome he has, he has become the authority (al-Qawwamah) over the house. No, this is a false idea that has nothing to do with Islam, and whoever says otherwise is ignorant of his religion. I ask your pardon for saying this.
Emphasized matters that are invalid according to Sharia: Some, we said two groups, the third group who responded to the speech emphasize matters that are invalid according to Sharia and think that Iyad came up with something from his own ideas. And I have shown you, dear respected audience, that many of us, men and women, unfortunately, are ignorant of our religion, so let us review our religion before we deny what we are ignorant of.
Demand that I clarify matters I have clarified and will clarify, God willing: Fourthly, some brothers demand that I clarify matters I have clarified and will clarify, God willing. One of the brothers, may Allah honor him and reward him with good, and it is not my concern to be polite or to see the issue of scholarship, I am not one of the scholars, I am a poor man, my condition is like yours, but we try to consult and seek guidance and I do not speak except in the measure that I know by the grace of Allah, the Almighty. But still, I say some brothers responded politely but said: "So, Dr. Iyad, it was appropriate for you to focus on the principle of submission with the woman, you should combat the deification present in some women, why do you not mention the husband's right over the wife?" By Allah, upon you, O Sheikh, may Allah speak to you and guide you. What was I doing in the episode "The Deified Woman" that we called "The Super Woman"? Did we not discuss in detail what was not boring, in detail, the phenomenon of human deification and the phenomenon of women's deification in the West and some women in the Islamic world imitating the deification of women in the West, and the phenomenon of objection, disregard, selectivity, and prioritization, and that there must be submission to Allah, the Almighty?
Okay, and we explained this in long episodes in the series of the woman and outside the series of the woman. Do you expect, dear respected audience, that every time I want to talk about a part, I will recall all these parts and details again? Okay, the episode, the episode "I am Free" with extreme shortening and condensation, and although I removed many things and fundamental ideas, it was 35 minutes, and many people watch 35 minutes and that's it. So, dear respected audience, it is necessary that when I come to discuss a huge topic like the topic of the woman, it is necessary that I detail and separate the points from each other. In one episode, I talk about the principle of deification and the principle of submission, in another episode, I talk about authority (al-Qawwamah), in a third episode about hitting the woman, and so on. Otherwise, it is impossible to proceed, it is impossible for me in one episode to cover the topic from all its aspects.
So, dear respected audience, to those who say why did you not talk about this and that, the things you are talking about are either mentioned in detail in previous episodes, or they will come in future episodes, God willing, and I will talk about obeying the husband in its appropriate context in the next episode or some of the upcoming ones, God willing. Those who say until you mention them will misunderstand, I return and say this is not in my hands, it is inevitable and certain that this will happen with any human work, and it is inevitable that we judge ideas as I mentioned to you.
Because, esteemed audience, after this, I repeat and emphasize that I am human, I make mistakes and err. However, this effort is not mine alone; I consult and seek guidance, and I ask those who are knowledgeable, and they approve my ideas, and we refine the episode significantly before I release it. Therefore, I ask my brothers, before they rush and criticize, to pause and reflect, and to understand what Iyad has said, and not to bring anything as clear evidence contrary to what this poor servant has said. Otherwise, honestly, my friends, you are distracting me with side battles. I will clarify to this brother, "My brother, go watch that particular episode," and to the other brother, "Indeed, my brother, I addressed this point in the same episode." Whoever wastes our time in this manner, we do not progress forward. May Allah know the effort exerted in this episode amidst many professional and social preoccupations. Nevertheless, I strive to perfect the episode as much as possible before releasing it. So, may those who wish to speak about it do so; may Allah reward you with goodness. And advise me and correct me openly and frankly, but with the knowledge that Allah honors you and rewards you with goodness and accepts from us and from you. And I ask Allah, the Great, the Lord of the Great Throne, to guide us all and guide us, and not to cause us to be a trial. Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah.