Why Address Women? What about Men?
In the name of Allah,
Peace & Blessings upon His prophet
Dear viewers, as you know,
we have started a series for women
which we will conclude soon
Allah willing
and go back to our series
"The Journey of Certainty"
However, this is an important stop
before we carry on with
the "Women in Depth" series
It is necessary for the sisters
who follow this series
to know exactly
what to expect
Many sisters who watch
are preoccupied with their problems
and expect me to solve them
A sister might say:
My father oppresses me, my husband doesn't
respect me, my brother bullies me,
society views me as inferior, etc...
Listen, sisters:
In a nutshell
I made this series for you
not about you!
The "Women in Depth" series
is for you, not about you
I am not here to address men and say,
"You have to do women justice
by doing this and that
or by treating them like so and so...
Addressing men is on a parallel path
to addressing women
For example, in the episode
"Nada Complains to Aisha"
—which we published into a booklet—
I talked about the Prophet's,
Peace and Blessings be upon him
treatment of our mother Aisha,
may Allah be pleased with her
as a comparison with the way
some husbands mistreat their wives
However, this series is
addressed to you, sister;
to Muslim women of all age groups
Women's issues need to be taken apart
They are as complex as the
issues of the Muslim Ummah
and need to be dealt with carefully
Women represent half of the Muslim Ummah
Their dilemma cannot be solved
independently from men's issues
or in isolation from the
problems of the Islamic Ummah:
economic, social, political, etc.
There must be a way to address men
and another to address women;
young and old
A way where we work together
to solve our Ummah's problems;
not only view them
from our selfish perspective
In this series, I will follow
a therapeutic approach
that is adopted by academic institutions:
A therapy known as CBT
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
That's how we came up
with the title "Women and CBT"
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
is an important globally-recognized
therapeutic approach
listed as a guideline
among therapy options
to treat a variety of disorders such as
anxiety, depression, phobia, etc.
Anyone can benefit from CBT when
it is understood and properly applied
When I learned the principles of CBT
and discussed it with
specialists in the field
I benefited a lot from it
What is this therapy about?
CBT is a drug-free therapy
based on the idea that
humans have thoughts
that lead to feelings
These feelings control our behavior
Hence: Thought, feeling, behavior
By changing faulty thoughts
we change the way people
feel about themselves,
others around them and their Creator
Glorified and Exalted be He:
Replacing negative thoughts
and false perceptions
with positive and correct ones
Achieving peace of mind, where a person
is in tune with their surroundings and
capable of dealing with life's challenges
in a healthy, calm and composed manner
Glory be to Allah, when I review
the basic pillars of CBT
I find that religious texts
in the Quran and Sunnah
achieve all that this therapy does
and more!
And more, by Allah!
The idea of this therapy was summarized
by Sayyid Qutb, Allah have mercy on him
in just one sentence
—long before foreign doctors
established the therapy—
Sayyid Qutb, who we believe
suffered a lot for Allah's sake,
discussed Allah's words,
which can be translated as,
"Whatever mercy Allah opens up for people,
none can withhold it." (Quran 35:2)
Look up the interpretation
of Surat (Fatir)
in his book
"In The Shade of The Quran"
Behold his beautiful
interpretation of this verse!
Read how this verse
during his difficult circumstances
lifted him up and made
his soul soar up to the sky
Following his beautiful interpretation
Sayyid Qutb says,
"Nothing has changed around me,
but all my perceptions have changed!"
Contemplate these words:
"Nothing has changed around me."
He was imprisoned in very difficult
circumstances during
the time of Abdul-Nasser
Yet, what does he say?
"Nothing has changed around me."
The prison bars, walls and mistreatment
all remained the same
But,
"All my perceptions have changed!"
This is the summary of CBT!
Even if nothing changes
in reality or in the way people treat you
your perceptions change when the
right thought replaces the wrong one
As a result, this will reflect positively
on your feelings and ultimately
on your behavior and
harmony with your surroundings
Dear sister, as I've mentioned
this series is to help you
correct your perception of yourself,
your relationship with
your Lord, your religion,
your society
and the others around you
Does this mean that I do not aspire
to change how people treat women
or remind men to be fair to women?
Of course not! In fact,
I have published about that before
and will publish more
Allah willing
Moreover, when you change and act with
confidence, calmness and tranquility
it will reflect, Allah willing
on your relationships with others:
the way you treat them
and the way they treat you
in reaction to the adjustments
that you have made
By the way, some sisters wrote to us
about their increased confidence
after watching the first episode
of "Women in Depth”:
"Liberation of the Western Woman"
When we discussed
the origin of the issue:
the Western woman
many sisters felt confidence, pride
and love for the religion of Allah
All this from the first episode alone
In the upcoming episodes
there is great good to come
Allah willing
I hope, sisters, we are now clear
on the goal of this series
I'm not here to go into
Shari'a details! I will mention
Qiwamah (men's authority,
responsibility and protection)
and the wisdom behind it;
in general terms
and Nafaqah
(decreed financial support) for women;
its rulings and importance
and women's work;
when it's required and how it's regulated
However...
I will not go into
extensive juristic details
But will urge people:
men and women
to adhere to Islam as a reference
in all matters and sincerely refer
to the Quran and the Sunnah of His prophet
Peace & Blessings be upon him
as they see the beauty, mercy
and wisdom in this great religion!
In order to fully benefit from
this series, Allah willing
I hope that you will view it
in a positive way;
the viewpoint of the
common good for ALL believers
Our slogan as believers is in Allah's
words, which can be translated as,
“The believing men and believing women
are allies of one another,
they enjoin what is right
and forbid what is wrong
and establish prayer and give zakah
and obey Allah and His Messenger.
Those: Allah will have mercy upon them.”
(Quran 9:71)
"Allah will have mercy upon them."
Hence, I am careful
to address you directly
My words are for you
not about you
Please listen to them
keeping in mind Allah's words,
which can be translated as,
“So give good tidings to My servants
Who listen to speech and follow the best
of it. Those are the ones Allah has guided
and those are people
of understanding.” (Quran 39:18)
Dear sister, I am your brother
If you see anything that needs correcting
write your advice in the comments section
and point out the error
but, may Allah bless you
avoid expressions like: "You! You men...!"
Dear sister, I do not represent men
with my words
Please pay close attention
may Allah bless you
I do not represent men as I address
women with my words
Rather, I claim to represent
believing men and women
The deviations I will mention
are committed by both men and women
Our topic is not "man vs. woman"
It is not even "practicing Muslims
vs. non-practicing Muslims"
or "devout Muslims vs. non-devout"
Indeed, I don't recognize such divisions
I don't accept terms such as:
Sheikhs, Islamists...
or any such labels and expressions
Again, it is not "men vs. women"
nor it is "devout vs. non-devout Muslims"
In fact, I claim that even Muslim women
who do not wear the hijab
and those neglectful of some rituals
will approve of my words and
my presentation in this series
Even if they are non-compliant
—may Allah guide and forgive them—
they confess their sins to Allah
and they love Allah and His Messenger
They accept the Wisdom
of the Creator's Command,
His Justice and Mercy
Glorified and Exalted be He
Our brothers who are watching:
the father, brother or husband
Do not pick and choose
from my words what you like,
to use them against women
Beware of doing that!
This series and its content
is NOT for you to
select what serves your rights
and discard your responsibilities
In fact, I am convinced that many of the
mistakes that Muslim women fall into
are the result of the failure
of many men to fulfill their duties
When some men abandoned
their roles as men
some women abandoned
their roles as women
When some men abandoned their masculinity;
some women abandoned their femininity!
When men failed to support their religion
they left the door wide open
for calls to abolish Islamic boundaries,
legislated rights and duties
When men failed to fulfill their duties
they invited the calls
urging women to refuse men's authority
and treat men as rivals
If women had seen men bravely
supporting and defending them,
their Ummah, religion, and causes;
they would have ridiculed and
rejected such destructive calls
Muslim brother: If you fulfill
your obligations and fear Allah
then the Devil's path is
restricted and the woman is
more likely to fulfill her obligation
The concept of Qiwamah
—which we will talk about Allah willing—
requires that I address men first
You, the man, bear the responsibility!
You must initiate the reform!
You are the larger vessel
enveloping the smaller one
Remember, brother
if you selectively use religion
to your advantage
when it comes to the woman
you are contributing to her
subversion,
her rejection of religion and
acceptance of the calls of evil
Beware!
Beware of selectively using religion:
taking what pleases you
and neglecting your duties
towards the woman
Your behavior will result in
subverting her and yourself,
as per Allah's words, which
can be translated as,
“...lest a foot slip after being firm and
you taste misery for barring (others)
from the way of Allah, and for you
there will be a great punishment.”
(Quran 16: 94)
May Allah protect us!
In this series, we remind men
to be just and
we remind women not to react to
an injustice with another injustice
This is the focus of our series
If men and women
attribute their abandonment
of Allah’s commands to the failure
of the other to fulfill their obligations,
saying, "Why do you want me to
fulfill my obligations when
they are not fulfilling theirs?"
In this way injustices will
continue to accumulate
The actions of each will become
reactions to the other's behavior
Religion as a reference point will be
lost and we will never reach a solution!
Revelation provided a balanced
parallel discourse
that includes both men and women
After stating some rulings regarding women
Allah says, what can be translated as,
“And turn to Allah in repentance,
all of you, O believers,
that you might succeed.” (Quran 24:31)
And turn to Allah in repentance,
all of you, men and women!
O believers, that you might succeed!
This video was a necessary introduction
I am certain that as I bring
some issues to the sisters' attention,
in the next episodes —as you will see
some will respond with:
"Why are you talking to us?!"
"Go talk to the men
who do this and that..."
I ask you, the brothers and sisters
who watched this episode,
to answer and say,
"Dear sisters,
Eyad has already addressed this issue
and responded in advance; in this video."
Please share this video with them,
may Allah bless you
Bookmark this video to respond
to the brothers and sisters
who will say,
"You ... and you..."
Who do you mean by "you"?
We are brothers. “The believers are but
brothers.”(Quran Translated Meaning 49:10)
Dear sister, in this series
you will hear some shocking things
You will say,
"Are you pointing at us?"
No, I am not!
"Are you judging us?" No, I am not!
In this series, I am not saying
—to anybody—
"Come and see this woman
who is doing this and that."
Not at all!
Again, this for you not about you
I am not inciting anyone to judge,
criticize or watch what you do
I am just reminding you
I am very optimistic and positive
thanks to Allah Almighty, that this series
will change many sisters
even those who are usually hesitant
about accepting religious advice
I speak calmly and happily in this series
because I am certain
that it will bear fruits
if Allah the Most Merciful wills
This is what I wanted to say
Once again, we are brothers and sisters
I ask Allah to accept from me and you
Please forgive me for any mistake
May the peace and mercy
of Allah be upon you