← Back to Women Series
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In the Name of Allah, peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah.
My brothers, you know that I have started a series about women, inshallah, we will finish it soon to return to the series "Journey of Certainty." However, there is an important station before continuing the series on women, meaning it is necessary that the sister who is about to listen to this series knows what she can expect from it. I believe many sisters come with many problems in mind, expecting me to solve them. Perhaps a sister might say, "My father oppresses me, my husband does not respect me, my brother dominates me, society's view of me is degrading," and so on.
Listen, sisters, I made this series for you, not about you. Of course, the language must be about you, but not about you, but to make the speech easier, we make it automatic and close. The series is for women, not about them. I am not here to address men that you must treat women fairly in this way and that way. The speech to men proceeds in a parallel path to our discussion about women, as I spoke, for example, in the episode "Complain to Aisha," which we also made into a book and published for you, when I spoke about the Prophet's, peace be upon him, treatment of Umm Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, in contrast to the bad treatment of some husbands towards their wives.
However, the series we have started is a speech to you, my Muslim sister, to you, the Muslim woman and girl. Because our brothers and sisters, the problem of women needs to be broken down, the problem of women needs to be broken down because it is as complex as the problem of the Islamic nation in general. We say that a woman is half of the Islamic nation, so her problem cannot be solved in isolation from the man's problem, but rather in isolation from the economic, social, and political problems of the nation. Therefore, there must be a speech to men and youth and a speech to women and girls in which we cooperate to solve the problem of the nation, not each of us thinking only from his or her own perspective.
In this series, my sisters, I am following a method we study at the university within the course of therapies, its name is this therapeutic method: "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" (CBT), and from here we came up with the title: "The Woman and CBT," cognitive behavioral therapy. It is an important therapeutic branch recognized worldwide and included in therapeutic guidelines as a first choice for treating many phenomena such as anxiety, depression, phobia, and others. And this CBT is beneficial for every normal human being if he understands and applies it.
Honestly, when I learned this CBT and sat with specialists in this field in cognitive behavioral therapy, I personally benefited a lot. So what is the idea of this treatment? It is a non-drug treatment, its idea is that a person has thoughts that lead to feelings, and these feelings direct behavior. So: thought, feeling, behavior, right? We change the person's feelings towards himself, the people around him, and his Creator, glorified and exalted be He, by modifying the wrong thoughts. We solve positive and correct ideas in place of the wrong and negative ones. This leads, in the end, to the comfort of the person, his harmony with his environment, and his dealing with his problems in a healthy, calm, and reassuring manner.
The idea of this treatment was summarized by Sayyid Qutb, may Allah have mercy on him, in one sentence before this treatment was established by foreign doctors. Sayyid Qutb, who suffered a lot for the sake of Allah as we count it, was talking about the verse of Allah the Exalted: {Whatever mercy Allah opens for the people, there is no one to withhold it}. By Allah, open His book "In the Shade of the Quran" to the interpretation of Surah Faatir and read his beautiful words at this verse, and how this verse, when he read it in his difficult circumstances, lifted him and transported his soul to fly in the sky.
After explaining Sayyid Qutb, he said a wonderful statement: "Nothing around me has changed, but everything has changed in my perception." Focus with me, people, he said: "Nothing around me has changed." He was imprisoned during the days of Abdul Nasser in a very difficult situation, and yet what does he say? "Nothing around me has changed." The bars are bars, the walls are walls, and the harsh treatment is harsh treatment. He said: "But everything has changed in my perception." This is the essence of CBT, even if nothing changes in your reality and people's dealings with you, everything changes in your perception when you replace the wrong thoughts with the right ones, so it reflects positively on your feelings, then your behavior, and your harmony in your environment.
This is the goal of this series, my dear sisters, as I mentioned in the previous episode: correcting your view of yourself and your relationship with your Lord, your religion, and the society around you. Does this mean that I do not aspire to change people's treatment of women and remind men to treat women fairly? Yes, I have published and will publish on that, inshallah. In addition, when you change and deal with confidence, comfort, reassurance, and calm, this reflects, inshallah, on your relationships with those around you and their treatment with you, and consequently their reactions to your actions.
By the way, there are sisters who have started messaging us that they felt comfort from the first episode in the series on women, the episode "Liberation of the Western Woman." We are still saying Bismillah and have just started talking about the origin of the subject of the Western woman, many sisters have started to feel comfort, pride, and love for the Sharia of Allah. This is from the first episode, and in the coming episodes, there is great good, inshallah.
That's it, my sisters, this is the goal of my series. I am not here to discuss the detailed jurisprudential details. Yes, I speak in general about the guardianship and its wisdom, about the maintenance of the woman and its ruling and importance, about the work of the woman and its motives and controls, but I will not enter into detailed jurisprudential details. Rather, I urge people, men and women, to hold fast to the reference of the religion of Allah the Exalted in all of that, and to truly refer to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, peace be upon him, for what they see of the beauty, wisdom, and mercy of this great Sharia.
And so that we get the most benefit from this series, inshallah: {And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and they establish prayer and give zakah, and they obey Allah and His Messenger. It is those - He will have mercy upon them.}
This series is for you, my sisters, not about you. I am not here to address men that you must treat women fairly in this way and that way. The speech to men proceeds in a parallel path to our discussion about women, as I spoke, for example, in the episode "Complain to Aisha," which we also made into a book and published for you, when I spoke about the Prophet's, peace be upon him, treatment of Umm Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, in contrast to the bad treatment of some husbands towards their wives.
However, the series we have started is a speech to you, my Muslim sister, to you, the Muslim woman and girl. Because our brothers and sisters, the problem of women needs to be broken down, the problem of women needs to be broken down because it is as complex as the problem of the Islamic nation in general. We say that a woman is half of the Islamic nation, so her problem cannot be solved in isolation from the man's problem, but rather in isolation from the economic, social, and political problems of the nation. Therefore, there must be a speech to men and youth and a speech to women and girls in which we cooperate to solve the problem of the nation, not each of us thinking only from his or her own perspective.
The problem of women is intertwined with the problems of the Ummah. We cannot address women's issues in isolation. The economic, social, and political challenges faced by the Ummah affect women profoundly. Therefore, any solution must be holistic, addressing the root causes of these interconnected issues.
I urge you, my sisters, to engage constructively with this series. Let us work together to understand and apply the principles of CBT in our lives. Remember, the spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood is essential. We are all in this together, supporting and uplifting one another.
May Allah guide us all to the straight path and grant us the wisdom to implement these teachings in our lives. Ameen.
Alright, therefore, I am keen to address you directly so that the words are for you, not about you. I ask that you listen to them with in your mind the words of Allah the Almighty: {So give good tidings to My servants who listen to the word and follow the best of it. Those are the ones whom Allah has guided, and those are [the ones] the people of understanding.} [Quran 39:17-18]
And I, dear sister, am your brother. If you see anything from me, advise me in the comments. Advise and write what you see as a mistake, but please, may Allah bless you, no language of "you are the men." I, in these words, do not represent men, and I ask that you focus with me, may Allah bless you. I, in these words addressed to women, do not represent men, but rather I claim to represent the believers, both men and women. And what I will mention about deviations is a reality from both men and women alike. Our topic is not man versus woman, nor is it committed believers versus negligent ones, meaning scholars in common parlance versus ordinary people. Of course, I do not accept this division at all, nor do I accept the labeling of scholars, Islamists, sheikhas, or any of these terms.
However, I affirm and repeat: the issue is not man versus woman, nor is it committed believers versus negligent ones. Rather, I claim that a number of non-veiled and negligent Muslim women accept my words and representation in this series, for even though they are in a state of disobedience to Allah (and I pray to Allah to grant them repentance), they are still confessing their sins to Allah, loving Allah and His Messenger, and acknowledging the wisdom of the Creator's command, His justice, and His mercy, glorified and exalted be He.
And I say to my brothers, the followers: these words are not for you, O husband, or father, or brother, so that you take from them what pleases you and use it to criticize the woman, may Allah protect you! These words and this series are not for you to practice selectivity, demanding what is yours and neglecting what is your responsibility. Rather, I am personally convinced that much of what some Muslim women do wrong is a result of many men's negligence in their duties. For when men abandon their manhood, women abandon their womanhood. And when men abandon their manhood, women abandon their womanhood. And when men fall short in defending the religion, the field opens up for calls that demolish what the Sharia has set as boundaries and what it has organized in terms of rights and duties.
When men fall short, the field opens up for calls that encourage women to reject the man's responsibility towards them and to treat him as an equal. Otherwise, if the woman sees the man acting like a lion in defending her, her nation, her religion, and supporting her causes, then the concept of Qawamah, which we will discuss with Allah's permission, one of its implications and results is that when I address someone, I address the man first: you bear the responsibility, you reform first, you are the large vessel that will contain the smaller one.
And remember, O man, that if you exploit the Sharia selectively in dealing with the woman, you will be a cause of her temptation and turning away from her religion and listening to the callers of evil. Beware, beware when you deal with religion selectively, taking what pleases you and falling short in what you owe towards the woman, you will be a cause of the woman's temptation, and the following verse will apply to you: {Then a foot slip after it was made firm, and they taste the evil for what they denied of Allah's way. And for you is a great punishment.} [Quran 14:24] I ask Allah to protect me and you from that.
In this series, we remind men not to be unjust, and we remind women not to let their reaction be another injustice. This is the focus, the focus on the woman. While if both parties justify their abandonment of Allah's commands by saying that the other party is not doing what they should, "How can I do what I should when he is not doing what he should?" If we remain in this state, the deviations will accumulate, and the actions of each party will be reactions to the actions of the other, and the reference of the religion will be lost, meaning we will never reach a solution.
Rather, the revelation came with a balanced speech, balanced meaning inclusive of both man and woman. So the Almighty said after mentioning some of the rulings of women: {And all of you, O believers, repent to Allah that you may succeed.} [Quran 24:31] Repent to Allah altogether, O believers, men and women, so that you may succeed.
This speech is a necessary introduction. And may Allah bless you, I am sure and you will see in the upcoming episodes when I address my sisters with some issues, meaning "You are talking to us, so will you talk to the men who are doing and saying things?" May Allah bless you, my brothers and sisters who watched this video, respond to them by saying: "People, our sisters, Yiad has already addressed this issue and responded to you with this video." Share this clip with them, may Allah bless you, and keep it to respond to the brothers and sisters who will come halfway and say, "Who are you?" We are brothers, {The believers are but brothers.} [Quran 49:10]
O dear sister, you will see in the series that in some episodes there are shocking and strange things, and you will say, "Do you accuse us?" I am not accusing you, are you judging me? I am not judging you. I am not in a series where I will say to men or people or committed women: "Come and see the woman who does this and that." No, no, no, the speech is for you, not about you. I am not inciting anyone to judge you or criticize you or see what you are doing. Rather, I remind you.
And by the grace of Allah the Almighty, this series is filled with positivity and good news that this series will change the perception of many sisters, even those who are somewhat distant from accepting the religious discourse. Therefore, I speak calmly and clearly that I am speaking with this series because I am reassured by the permission of Allah the Almighty that it will bear fruit if my Lord wills.
This is what I wanted to say to you, and once again we are brothers. I ask Allah to accept from us and from you, and to forgive us for any mistake. Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.